WTF – The Valentine’s Day Essay

Decapitated Guro Girl

It’s Valentine’s Day so I wrote a little love filled essay to show my gratitude for affection we fellow humans show to one another on the most basic level. I call it “What The Fuck?

You know like… men have dicks and women have pussies and like… dicks are meant to go inside pussies but somehow we’ve evolved into that pathetic state of affairs where you’d get labelled a pervert and shit if you wanted to stick your dick into a pussy? WTF?

And as a result of this pathetic state of evolution, a man with a dick that’s meant to go into a pussy must spend small fortune and ridiculous amount of time courting a woman with a pussy that’s meant to take a dick in, just so he can find himself doing what we’re equipped to be doing naturally. WTF?

No other mammals evolved into such pathetically idiotic state of sexual affairs as humans. Can I be reborn as a fucking boar or something – just anything other than a human? We are a species of sexually devolved organisms that degraded fucking into something that one must work for. WTF?

Humans would also be the only mammals forced to reduce themselves to masturbation or paying for sex just to get a release. It’s disheartening to realize that there would be men and women out there, yet some, no matter how hard they try, can’t give their balls a bust through normal dick into pussy fucking. As if the fact that they must try in the first place was not abhorrent enough. WTF?

We tend to think of ourselves as the top of the food chain yet we’re the only organisms that must go out of their fucking way to satisfy the most natural of urges. My whole life I used to tell myself that I’ve never had sex with a prostitute and never will, but when I look back at all the getting-to-knows-each-other and dating and mind-games and playing-cat-and-mouse and going through all that masquerade and pretense only to find out that in the end, she’s not that good of a lay anyway, I can’t help but shake my head at retarded humans. No fucking wonder there are so many abusive relationships and cheaters out there. WTF?

Happy Valentine’s Day, Gorgians :)

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89 thoughts on “WTF – The Valentine’s Day Essay

  1. Thats a nice peace of essay. Before I say any thing thank you for that valentines picture. True, why do human beings waste time on this thing called sex? Why should someone spent on a woman just to put his dick in the cunt? Humans have complicate things for nothing. I,d rather be “GORING” than participating in the fucking valentines day.

  2. True. It’s the women that makes it so hard; gay men seem to have it much easier when it comes to having sex.
    If women were as sexual as men, would rape exist?
    I once had a GF who gave me head every morning, i didn’t feel the need to watch porn anymore and i didn’t feel the need for other women becuse my balls didn’t get the chance to get so fulled up on the brink of bursting making me insanely horny!

  3. Please, You know damn good and well you’d watch three seasons of Sex and the City AND the directors cut of Brokeback Mountain for a piece of Jessica Alba….

    • The trouble most people have with gay men is picturing what they get up to in the bedroom. Felching anyone? Anal/oral is frowned upon for straight couples in some cultures/religions. That said I absolutely LOVED Brokeback Mountain, I just peeked through my fingers for the sex scenes, much like I do in really scary movies!

  4. The worst part about humans, is that our genitals are in front of us all, making the preoccupation of sex a constant reminder, if we see a big nice set of tits, out brains shut down and whatever we were doing gets back burnered.
    With pussy, it’s never enough and the issues that are delt with BEFORE and WHAN you are with the bitch usally far outweigh the benifits of fucking her.
    In other words, a hot bitch gives 1 hour of sex per day (almost best case scnerio) and 23 hours of bullshit.
    And we deal with it anyway.
    WTF?

  5. At first I thought these were the words of a “forever alone dude”, but after finishing the reading I can’t agree more with you. This is the awful truth of our existence and the only way to get rid of these pathetic urges is as the poet Samuel Johnson said: “He who makes a beast of himself gets rid of the pain of being a man.”

  6. Worldwide European Birth Rate- 1.3
    Mexican, Blacks, and other Mudsbirth rate 4-10 + children

    Rise of the Planet of the Apes.

    White people need to have more children.

  7. Happy Valentine’s Day! <3
    Although i agree with you for the most part Mark, but women need to weed out the men that are only there for a quick lay…so it might seem like games but we don't want to be only cum dumpsters ya know… Women want sex as much as men do! WOMEN GIVE SEX FOR LOVE, MEN GIVE "LOVE" FOR SEX- Games are played by both!
    It's really complicated but somehow we manage…sorta lol

  8. we are one of like 3 or 4 species on this planet that fuck for pleasure. So, if all you want to do is fuck pussies with out having to work for it, I don’t think you’ll want to be reborn into a hog. Wtf?

  9. I think it is simple. Humans are the only mammals that use sex for pleasure, not only to continue our race. Animals have a cycle as you all know. Like the cat sex party in my backyard every october.

  10. I know right? Its funny going out to the clubs. Men pay for drinks and tell you what they think you wanna hear. With the money they spent trying to get you drunk they may have well just bought a Hooker. Hell, some broads just need to be asked, “you wanna fuck?” Save a few bucks. Lmmfao!!!

  11. you are wrong about humans being the only mammals to play games though, most female mammals wait for the males to finish fighting(sometimes to death) over her, or other activities (hours of caressing etc),she wants the best possible father for her babies, also in the bird world the male is constantly bringing little gifts of food and sticks (for nest) to his ‘wife’, and they share the raising of their family,nest repair, so I’m afraid we are not so different. At 7 billion people I think women are giving up that pussy more than you think, your’e not getting your fair share, are you?

  12. I completely agree. And what I don’t get is that guys are allowed to go for the quick lay, but if the girl wants it, she’s considered a slut, lol. I hate it. We’re all supposed to want sex for the species to survive, but if the vast majority of us are to concerned about money and religion, it doesn’t go down like that. And then it’s considered beastly to have sex.
    Screw the planet, let’s make some babies! Lol. Happy Valentines Day, everyone.

  13. Abusers are abusers, it doesn’t matter how often she puts out. They use the supposed lack of sex as an excuse to have tantrums. ’nuff said.

    I’ve got a decent background in biology and I can tell you for fact that many animals masturbate. Mammals, even sea animals, and birds all play with themselves. Its kind of funny to watch.

    Women usually have a battery operated boyfriend because they get tired of being dominated, treated like shit, tired, etc. Guys sometimes do the same. As said above, men get tired of the game. So do women but in a different way. Neither gender likes to be taken advantage of. Slutting around is a good way to get a disease.

  14. Thank you Mark for this essay, it was quite the read. And thanks again for creating this site and keeping it up and running daily with some of the very best gore around.

  15. Valentines day sucks if you don’t have someone of the opposite sex in your life. Before I retired and was between men, I used to feel bad when florists would deliver flowers to someone in the office. Oh well, at least I have my health, eh? It could be worse … I could be living in Brazil or Thailand or one of those other shithole countries!!

  16. As I don’t love anybody, I don’t have any problem with the Saint Valentine’s day. I mean that in opposite of some people who get depressed on this day because of their celibacy, i don’t give a shit about it. Nevertheless, I paid my self (maybe unconsciously) a prostitute yesterday. Seeing in a sexual intercourse nothing but a natural activity, I don’t have any rejection for that kind of business.

  17. i hate to break it to all you, all mammals masturbate, use sex for favors and all that gos into that. even some birds do. humans are not the only ones, we are simply the only ones that vocalize it.

  18. Words cannot describe how much I agree with the essay. I mean, I see it from the view of the opposite sex, (being female and all) , but sometimes all a human being (male or female. Us chicks like ‘doing the dirty’ as much as men, y’know!) needs is a decent shag (if you’ll excuse the term :D). My long-term boyfriend and I broke up nearly a month ago, and, if I’m completely honest, I miss the sex more than I miss him, which doesn’t really say much for the state of our relationship.

    That being said, it’s very easy to assume that it’s us females who’re the awkward ones when it comes to sex. Most of my friends are the type who go in for expensive dates, flowers, and gifts etc, but most of my guy friends are more than happy to oblige their conquests with these things. I’m not saying that I don’t like to be ‘spoiled’ every now and again, and go out on ‘fancy’ dates, but my ideal kind of ‘date’ is staying home with a decent horror movie (TEXAS CHAINSAW MASSACRE!) and a pizza, which is, y’know, an interesting mix.

    Mark, I’d marry you, just sayin’, or at least indulge the both of us with some crazy animal-style hot sex. Which is creepy I guess, as you know me as ‘random Best Gore commenter’ and I know you as ‘Guy with the cool pictures of death and blood and stuff’, but I like a guy who lives in the here and now. ;D

    Now, before this starts to sound too much like an online dating profile (thankfully I haven’t had to resort to THAT yet), I’m gonna go.

    Hope everyone had a great Valentines, and if you didn’t, then you can come and join me for a night where we drink copious amounts of alcohol and blaspheme and basically spit in the face of ‘love’.

    KISSES!

  19. I can’t imagine why you’re still single…

    I mean, what woman doesn’t want a man who only sees her as a vagina with legs, there only to pleasure him whenever he wants her to? What woman doesn’t want a man who thinks romance is an evil trick perpetrated by women, who are always gold diggers, you know. What woman doesn’t love reading something on Valentines Day that makes her feel worthless and degraded? What woman doesn’t want a man who believes males are superior to females in every single way? What woman doesn’t just love to feel objectified and know that nothing she thinks, says, or feels even matter one iota because she had the *audacity* to be a born female?
    What if I said this about you? How would you feel? It made me feel terrible. You need to wake the fuck up and realize that women don’t own you one fucking thing. It is a privilege, not your fucking right, to have sex with us, and vice versa (this also goes for the ladies who only see men as a “sugar daddy” because sexism works both ways.) I don’t know what has happened to you in your life to cause you believe such disgusting things. Maybe someone you cared about screwed over, well, guess what? Welcome to the fucking club. Being screwed around with by the opposite sex does not make you unique in any way. I guess what I’m trying to say is it wouldn’t kill you to have some fucking respect for once… that, and it wouldn’t shock me in the least if you became a serial killer who targets prostitutes out of some warped Oedipus Complex. I’ll be watching for you on the news.

    • Oh, and one more thing… I will only go to bed with a man if: 1.) I trust him 2.) I respect him, and he respects me 3.) I care enough about him to want to be with him for more than one night. I don’t do casual sex or one night stands. You’ll notice that NOWHERE in those criteria did I mention “he buys me lots of stuff.” If you and I were dating I wouldn’t expect you to buy me one damn thing unless YOU wanted to. I don’t give a FUCK about material things, and I have my own money, thank you very much. I can pay my own way, I don’t need a anyone to take care of me. In this day and age there are too many shallow, greedy, vapid women AND men… but there are also still some of us who know what the *really* important things in life are… and you can’t buy them with filthy lucre. I would rather have a man who was dirt poor and loved me, than a billionaire who only wants a piece of arm candy to parade around. That’s all I want from a man: love and respect. That’s it. That means everything to me. I am not some gold digging bitch who enjoys toying with men for her amusement. I sure there are a lot of women out there who are… but there are still some really good women out there to. Sometimes you have to pry open a lot of clams before you find a pearl, but if you keep looking you WILL find that pearl.

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