It’s Valentine’s Day so I wrote a little love filled essay to show my gratitude for affection we fellow humans show to one another on the most basic level. I call it “What The Fuck?”
You know like… men have dicks and women have pussies and like… dicks are meant to go inside pussies but somehow we’ve evolved into that pathetic state of affairs where you’d get labelled a pervert and shit if you wanted to stick your dick into a pussy? WTF?
And as a result of this pathetic state of evolution, a man with a dick that’s meant to go into a pussy must spend small fortune and ridiculous amount of time courting a woman with a pussy that’s meant to take a dick in, just so he can find himself doing what we’re equipped to be doing naturally. WTF?
No other mammals evolved into such pathetically idiotic state of sexual affairs as humans. Can I be reborn as a fucking boar or something – just anything other than a human? We are a species of sexually devolved organisms that degraded fucking into something that one must work for. WTF?
Humans would also be the only mammals forced to reduce themselves to masturbation or paying for sex just to get a release. It’s disheartening to realize that there would be men and women out there, yet some, no matter how hard they try, can’t give their balls a bust through normal dick into pussy fucking. As if the fact that they must try in the first place was not abhorrent enough. WTF?
We tend to think of ourselves as the top of the food chain yet we’re the only organisms that must go out of their fucking way to satisfy the most natural of urges. My whole life I used to tell myself that I’ve never had sex with a prostitute and never will, but when I look back at all the getting-to-knows-each-other and dating and mind-games and playing-cat-and-mouse and going through all that masquerade and pretense only to find out that in the end, she’s not that good of a lay anyway, I can’t help but shake my head at retarded humans. No fucking wonder there are so many abusive relationships and cheaters out there. WTF?
Happy Valentine’s Day, Gorgians
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