In All Honesty, What Would You Do in an Emergency Situation?

Best Gore Forums Societally Relevant Health In All Honesty, What Would You Do in an Emergency Situation?

This topic contains 15 replies, has 10 voices, and was last updated by  itsplaster 2 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #77059

    Counterfeit
    Participant

    Run? Cry? Help? Make a video for Best Gore?

  • #77070

    JustJustine
    Participant

    Depends on the situation, if it was safe enough for me to approach and help, then I would. If it was too dangerous to approach, i would stand out the way and get the camera started.

  • #77072

    doomsday
    Participant

    Yep, get the camera out I would. We need diversity when it comes to gore.

  • #94354

    Lord Wankdust
    Participant

    I would definitely use a camera now. It is so easy. The idea of being able to convey the images of a horror situation in pictures rather than just writing about it would be too much to resist. Imagine if I had had a camera with me 28 years ago… on a particular Night of Horror… how we could all laugh together now!

    One Friday Night in September 1989 I found myself in the middle of an emergency situation. I had recently moved hurriedly to Glasgow from Northern Ireland due to a minor disagreement with some angry people in Belfast. Without realising the possible consequences, I had gone out for some casual after-work drinking with some colleagues on Great Western Road in Glasgow. The evening’s casual and relaxed drinking went very well. I drank Guinness and some eight pints later I found myself (around midnight) walking home from the West End of Glasgow. I lived on the eastern cusp of Clydebank and was without bus fare on a late Friday Night with rain falling steadily. The digestive qualities of a gallon of Guinness were working their way through my system, my horrible tenement rooms were still far away and I had to quicken my pace. I tightened my sphincter and staggered on hoping to get home to my toilet in time. The Guinness was having none of it. I could feel a Monster Guinness Shit forcing itself against my gritted ring-piece. Mr Brown was banging at the back door and demanding to get out. The pressure was enormous. There was no way I was gonna make it home to my own toilet. I was gonna have to drop a dead otter somewhere in the street. The Great Guinness Shit was turtleheading and it was all I could do to waddle over to a side street off Dumbarton Road and prepare to birth the thing.

    The street was silent and thankfully there was no-one around. I had to yank down my trousers, lean against a tree at the corner and pipe out a massive glistening turd into the gutter. It was nearly the length and thickness of my arm. I wedged a paper hanky in my arse-crack, pulled up my trousers and walked on as if nothing had happened. I had to go into work at Hillhead the following morning and looked out of the bus window as I passed the street where I had squeezed out the arse-ripping Cleveland Steamer. It was still there like a massive shiny brown log and two black crows were pecking at it. Eating the fucking thing. Two crows were beaking up my fucking megaturd.
    Some photos and video of that arse-quake would have been awesome and would maybe have been preferable to mere words and a Google Map link. But small portable digital cameras were not available then and I would have had to take the conventional film to a shop to have it processed and the photos printed. I’d have had to pass the film through a middle-man. I suppose that is the crux of why Best Gore is so great, we are all on here because we appreciate no middle-man “processing” our world for us.

    • This reply was modified 2 months, 1 week ago by  Lord Wankdust.
  • #94361

    illegalsmile55
    Participant

    @lord-wankdust
    Bravo! Beautiful and heart warming story, milord.
    Birds are disgusting, I’ve seen a few carrying off my dogs turds (jack Russell & chihuahuas, so not huge poops). The peanuts that do not digest, would prove too tempting to the blue jays. My neighbor up the hill feeds the blue jays unshelled peanuts; he bangs a can with a stick, and his minions come flying in. Peanuts in poo are easier to extract than the unshelled ones…I guess. I’ve also seen squirrels carrying turds off, I have a nigger squirrel who loves the turdnuts, he is usually chasing a grey squirrel who he tries to rape. I’ve been trying to get a pic of that in action, squirrel porn.
    I just checked and apparently the black squirrel plague is invading the UK.

    http://www.mirror.co.uk/usvsth3m/black-squirrel-menace-mutant-invading-5320441

    • #94367

      Lord Wankdust
      Participant

      @ illegalsmile55

      Squirrel-Porn! Count me in! I was attacked and bitten (drawing my precious blood) by a Grey Squirrel in the Botanical Gardens in Edinburgh some years ago. I was actually kinda teasing it with some nuts which probably got the fucking thing really angry. The idea of a Big Black Squirrel cock stretching out a Grey would allow me to move on a little from my horrifying Grey Squirrel experience and feel some kind of Justice had been done.
      My Squirrel attack was not quite as bad as this.

      But it was bad enough.

      Some clips of Jays eating turds or picking nuts outta turds would be kinda intriguing. Birds will eat some really objectionable things. This is really quite something, the utter beauty totally transforms any horror. Takes half a minute to get going, but it is worth the wait.

      • This reply was modified 2 months, 1 week ago by  Lord Wankdust.
      • #94371

        illegalsmile55
        Participant

        @lord-wankdust

        HOLY FUCK!! That’s the dinner bell from hell…I think I was more repulsed by the pre-dinner festivities. Grisly, I loved it!

        Squirrels are just rats with fluffy tails. I despise the red squirrels, they are destructive… But I love the chipmunks. Too bad they don’t eat all the dog shit, it would make my life easier.

      • #94517

        illegalsmile55
        Participant

        Just watched this again…awesome and beautiful.
        Hitchcock’s The Birds doesn’t have shit on this, those birds are gigantic! I would’ve been frightened to be among them. Must be one of the biggest birds in the world.

      • #94503

        MasterPlan
        Participant

        Having your body eaten by wild beasts is one of the most repulsive things for mankind. Some argue that burying its dead was the first cultural step for primitive men to become men. Really strange to see something like that. Thanks again. Squirrels can eat meat, maybe we could get them to eat dead bodies also.

      • #94509

        Lord Wankdust
        Participant

        @ MasterPlan Thank you for your comment. However, I think the thought of Granny’s corpse being slowly devoured by burrowing insects, worms and putrefying fungus is not what most people would want in a piece of ground near them. Let alone have little grandchildren think about. The beginning of the total loss of intelligence in humans was when our clever, disease avoiding ancient ancestors started heaping corpses into holes all around their towns.

        We now bury bodies in the Earth (out of sight) so that worms, burrowing insects and decaying bacteria can eat the corpse out of sight. The earliest body disposals we know of here in Scotland was by the excarnation of corpses in the late Neolithic and Bronze Ages. The bodies were taken to large rocky areas and specially constructed platforms away from habitation and left for birds of prey (Sea Eagles, Golden Eagles, Buzzards and Hawks. Crows, Rooks and Ravens would also get a look in) to remove the flesh. Once the exposed bodies had been picked clean, the remaining long bones and skulls would be placed inside chambered tombs like Maes Howe on Orkney and stacked neatly. This was done in an incredibly respectful and labour intensive way. You should see the tombs four and five thousand years later.
        This method was a good way of getting rid of stinking, disease spreading corpses, returning the goodness to Nature, keeping vermin like rats away and sealing their non-disease spreading remains like long bones and skulls in ornate and specially built houses of the dead.

        This one in Orkney is really worth looking at and reading about, especially at the Winter Equinox when the Mid Winter sunlight squeezes up the long vaginal entrance shaft to splash against the back of the central “womb” to signal the end of the short days, the mid-point of Winter, the return of the Sun, the longer days, rebirth and renewal. Utterly beautiful.

        http://www.maeshowe.co.uk/maeshoweabout.html

        • This reply was modified 2 months, 1 week ago by  Lord Wankdust.
        • This reply was modified 2 months, 1 week ago by  Lord Wankdust.
    • #94497

      JMCR
      Participant

      I think lord wankdust is an ex teacher from somewhere north of England, Or ridley scott.

      • #94500

        MasterPlan
        Participant

        He is good. Funny, very skillful with a pen, and manage to bring us a great point. Thank you my @lord, I appreciate your words immensely.

      • #94513

        illegalsmile55
        Participant

        I always picture him looking and sounding like Groundskeeper Willy. He’s hot stuff.

  • #94364

    Mr Spock
    Participant

    I would ask someone to get help, whilst I stand watch filming and comforting.

    • #94561

      Karma
      Participant

      I’d try to film while I help them I guess

  • #94571

    itsplaster
    Participant

    I would just help. Fuck the camera. I’d think how’d I’d feel if it was someone I cared about and somebody wouldn’t help them just so they could record something for a website. Damn, most videos are forgotten but a person would actually be missed. I’d definitely just help.
    The exception would be someone who tailgated me and then passed me in a dangerous way. If I came around the next curve and their car was wrapped around a tree, I wouldn’t help. I’d be like “See? See why I drive slower?” Nagging them while they die. That’s cold.

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