Living with a social stigma

Best Gore Forums Chill Out Zone Everything Else Living with a social stigma

This topic contains 37 replies, has 8 voices, and was last updated by  Deathdew 3 months, 3 weeks ago.

  • Author
    Posts
  • #110306

    Deathdew
    Participant
    Goints: 387

    Hello all. I just wanted to come out and describe my current situation… I am a sex offender in the states, my convinction date was decades old, am 33 years old and wanted to discuss people with my situation and others alike. Now I don’t advocate my behavior from the likes of child rapist nor do I have any charges relating that subject… I know putting myself out there puts me in risk… I don’t really care who is offended by my crime… In fact the label itself is more disturbing than what I did. That being said id like some discussion about the current events of this subject for those that live under these conditions.

  • #110314

    Deathdew
    Participant
    Goints: 387

    Also if people want to hate, hate all you like. It doesn’t change anything, people like me are going to be everywhere whether you like it or not. I’d like people to understand rather than accept me for what I am. This stigma that I live in doesn’t protect the public, it only labels me and prevents me from getting good jobs.

  • #110316

    Road Pavement
    Participant
    Goints: 4,248

    We know what your going through, Everyone in this world has been convicted of a crime that they did not commit, It was no one’s fault that you where convicted of a sex crime that did not take place, Just to let you know here in the united states it’s becoming a police state, Sooner or later someone will get killed by the police that have an educated excuse to pull the trigger.

  • #110318

    Mr Spock
    Participant
    Goints: 510

    Yes it is rather annoying to be on such a register. But there’s not much you can realistically do about it.
    If there is anything you can learn from the past to change something about present self for the better, do that.

    But generally, don’t ever worry about things from the past that you cannot change. Life is too short.

    We all have our skeletons in the cupboard. If someone’s perfect, good for them, but the rest of us, me included, are not.

  • #110319

    Deathdew
    Participant
    Goints: 387

    Oh it’s a factor I live with, police in my state are not so bad, so towns to register is rough. Cops aren’t really the issue on my end. But what comes with my crimes is an ongoing situation, know what I know from this site I hope to find someone with the same struggle and hope to help in some kind of way, vise versa.

    • #110320

      Road Pavement
      Participant
      Goints: 4,248

      What state is it? We may help you over come your “Fake” guilt over the crime that never took place.

      No one will come forward about a sex crime that has not taken place.

  • #110321

    Deathdew
    Participant
    Goints: 387

    @mrspock thanks man! I appreciate your words, in fact I was a ghost on this site for awhile, I always found your comments humorous or insightful. For the longest time I have martyr myself countless times over the years… Still do on occasion. I have learned to deal with it in a positive light, my girlfriend is in her 50’s and she knew I was nothing like the people on the registry, It brought comfort knowing someone wasn’t judging me on my past. We all have something, I am convinced… No one is perfect, seemingly behind the scenes is dysfunction and mistrust.

    • #110330

      Mr Spock
      Participant
      Goints: 510

      No worries, Deathdew. Life is generally not fair, Best Gore teaches you that. If you look at the stuff on this site, I would doubt the victims always did something really bad or daft to warrant the stuff that that happened to them.
      Execution for theft?
      In many cases yes, but in most cases, what happened to them was pretty harsh considering whatever ill-judgement, naivety or misdemeanor they demonstrated.

  • #110322

    Deathdew
    Participant
    Goints: 387

    @ roadpavement I’m not sure what your reffering to… I am indeed guilty of my crime. But the price I payed for was unjust. Some people might not feel that way, it’s a grey area in are society that is not being dealt with in a manner that helps or prevents these crimes.

    • #110323

      Road Pavement
      Participant
      Goints: 4,248

      Sex and age of this victim?

  • #110324

    Deathdew
    Participant
    Goints: 387

    @roadpavement 15 yrs old female… I was convincted at 18

    • #110325

      illegalsmile55
      Participant
      Goints: 2,244

      I know a guy who had his first girlfriend at 18. His girlfriend had been passed around quite a bit, had a reputation of being loose, and was 16. They got caught having sex in his car by the cops. Consensual sex. I think he was a virgin when he hooked up with her. Anyway, he is now on the sex offender registry. He did not rape her, he is not a pedophile. I think there needs to be some reworking of that system. Life isn’t fair. He is now married with a couple of kids, seemingly has got on with his life.

  • #110326

    Deathdew
    Participant
    Goints: 387

    @illegalsmile55 that’s rough shit. Your very right, the laws in this country are completely out of wack! Especially with these Hollywood women crying rape 10 years later, doesn’t help that are society has become a mob of lynching twats that know nothing about nothing. But are justice system has been corrupt for a long time, eventually we’ll be convinced on Twitter accounts.

    • #110327

      Road Pavement
      Participant
      Goints: 4,248

      She most likely a teenage prostitute, What I would do is contact all the men she slept with until the current day with an private investigator and see if you could prove she is a well known prostitute

      In most cases like this most people I know that are accused for a crime that did not take place and a lot of holes in the investigation are most likely dropped.

      What I did when I was being persecuted by a cult for my ethic background where I once lived I gave pepper spray to children and made friends with concern parents of the community and later found out who the cult leader was and they exposed this person with severe mental illness and locked up for generations to come.

      When parents learned I was giving pepper spray to children for protection they gotten the same stuff and helped me and others that where being persecuted by the cult.

  • #110328

    Deathdew
    Participant
    Goints: 387

    From what I know as far as cults go, they never end well. Curious are your reffering the cult as police? I see a lot of questionable stuff on the internet, as of staging events and fake news ect… I don’t know what believe in this world, for whatever reason we need a different system or a population decrease… Significantly

  • #110331

    Deathdew
    Participant
    Goints: 387

    @mrspock it is nice to know that it’s not that bad compared to the guy who was hacked to death with a machete for stealing… Or the guy that was lynched to death over a false rape claim. I do think of these things, but I also think that I am in position cause I am alive to say that people change, with that knowledge I am humble to be alive and witness are existence.

  • #110344

    MasterPlan
    Participant
    Goints: 1,326

    Hi @icecreamlair. Thanks for coming forward in such a sensitive topic. It is my assumption sex was not consensual. People do like to see heads in pikes for that kind of thing and a quick read shows me that politicians also. Apparently they often promise harsher penalties for sex offenders to secure public vote based in public emotions and hysteria. Since every state in US has different laws and requirements for sex offenders I would seek to live in one not in the mist of a witch-hunt and with the least draconian laws. Personally I’m in favor of very harsh penalties but each case is a different case.

    “Critics point out that contrary to media depictions, abductions by predatory offenders are very rare and 93% of child sexual abuse is committed by someone the child knows: a family member, etc”.

    “Critics say that, while originally aimed at the worst offenders, as a result of moral panic the laws have gone through series of amendments, many named after the victim of a highly publicized predatory offense, expanding the scope of the laws to low-level offenders, and treating them the same as predatory offenders, leading to the disproportionate punishment of being placed on a public sex offender registry, with the consequent restrictions on movement, employment, and housing.”

    “In some states public urination, having sex on a beach, or unlawful imprisonment of a minor also constitute sexual offenses requiring registration”

    “You can’t paint sex offenders with a broad brush.”

    “Burn them all!!”

  • #110347

    Deathdew
    Participant
    Goints: 387

    I have 3 counts of sexual assault, two being with a minor and the other is aggravated. My victim for the two charges was 15 when I was 18. The other charge was having sex with my ex while she was asleep, this charge I am not proud of and regret it everyday. Nothing about it was aggressive or physically harmful, not to down play the act on itself but it’s not highly uncommon from other cases. From what I read of cases in the states it’s becoming a vast spectrum of he said she said, or regret. I rarely put myself out there because of deep hate of others towards me/others. But I am lumped in with people that have violated people in horrendous ways or are just re-offenders(likely to commit the same crime) we need to evaluate which of the following. People that urinate in public, underage sex, woman that have regrets about sexual encounters(claiming sexual misconduct). Discuss these issues would help bring light into the public about how to discipline the crimes committed. Like I said before I don’t condone my past actions, but what I do now is more important then what I have done before. Also I’d like to thank those that can talk about this subject without sticking a spike in my ass in retaliation (metaphorically). In fact I have been sexual assaulted in jail, one might say an eye for an eye, tho shall see justice… But all I see is hatred and distrust. All and all it could have been worse,my scars never heal, it’s made me into something that isn’t quite human anymore.

  • #110356

    Marky Ramones Wig
    Participant
    Goints: 170

    How did you manage to bone yr missus while she was asleep , were you just coked up n horny as fuck or were u just asleep and fancyed a bit of slap and tickle? Should of just choked your chicken , how long did it take for her to wake up? , I admire the fact you’ve put yourself out here but yr still a wrong’un, this has fucked my head up a bit cuz obviously the charge when u were 18 and she was 15 ,I assume the sex was consensual and she was into it as much as you were, but the charge for shagging yr bird whilst she was sleeping is just wrong , u forced yourself on her when she didn’t want it, my advice to you would be to get off the ‘wo is me shit’ ,and fucking dig yourself out of all the negativity and depression and live your fucking life, who gives a fuck what people say about you ,fuck them and get on with it lad, yr 33 stop being a cunt

    P.s are you saying in the US that people who get caught having a piss in public are put on the sex offender register ?

  • #110358

    Deathdew
    Participant
    Goints: 387

    Well @markyramones you sound like a cunt yourself… If you that naive about certain situations then it obviously not worth explaining. Also this isn’t a pity party, this is a discussion about similar situation. I didn’t just get out of jail nor do I advertise it. Also yes people that get caught public urination is a technically a sex crime.

    • #110361

      MasterPlan
      Participant
      Goints: 1,326

      I guess the peeing thing is very subjective. Any perve would claim he was peeing, anyone could say your intentions are different than your intent. Maybe you are just peeing at night and it happens to be next to a school.
      http://www.businessinsider.com/surprising-things-that-could-make-you-a-sex-offender-2013-10?IR=T
      https://www.menshealth.com/guy-wisdom/you-might-be-sex-offender-and-not-know-it
      Flashing your boobs, soliciting a prostitute??? Sex offenders must register for 20 years or life as far as I understand and these articles don’t event touch on their actual measures.
      I was once set up by a cunt and shared it in here. Very scary thought to be put in such a list. I also think that when past relationships are involved the picture changes drastically. My ex grabbed my thing when I didn’t want anything with her. Rape??

      • #110366

        Deathdew
        Participant
        Goints: 387

        Oh my god, some of this shit is just so funny, people are just about offended about anything, you can’t make this shit up. I have a gay friend that was caught pissing in public (no sexual motives) had to register as a sex offender for a decade. Also when I had to do group therapy for my condition I was lumped in with a guy that raped his daughter on many occasions and pissed on her… That shit is a red flag, people don’t understand, they need to worry about those who have not got caught or are a consistent predator. The variation of sex crimes are widely not as bad as the public thinks. We need to evaluate certain sex crimes that are committed and how frequent they are being committed… For example if someone was charged for a DWI, just one charge mind you, they should have there license suspended and should attend classes or AA. However if someone is habitual offender should have there license revoked till significant changes occur. I am sure we go about these certain laws or various conditions that don’t allow people to drive under the circumstance of heavy drinkers or reckless people… I also believe if you want to become a parent, you must have a license to do so. Hoping the government would not abuse such privilege given, cause giving life is just freely given to those unfit to be parents in the first place… To those that abuse children physically or sexual should be required to chemically neutered.

      • #110368

        MasterPlan
        Participant
        Goints: 1,326

        Hi @icecreamlair. Here is a link on what sex offenders register is in UK.
        https://www.theguardian.com/society/2006/jan/18/childrensservices.politics1
        And I also found this report that corroborate some of the points that you brought.
        https://www.hrw.org/news/2007/09/11/us-sex-offender-laws-may-do-more-harm-good

        I have different views than most people in here. In my opinion there should be an open registry for every crime committed to be disclosed to the public, but indeed the law is very bias when it comes to a certain group of criminal offences. I agree parents should’t be deemed capable parents based only in being able to copulate and chemically neutering is a great idea for some individuals. The age gap for teenagers seem to put a lot of people in the registry inadvertently, but I still don’t have a clear perspective on your actions when it comes to your 15/18 “relationship”. I found out that in US you may have “Restricted access to websites and social media.” wile on the registry, so be careful with that! https://www.thelawman.net/Criminal-Defense-Articles/Consequences-of-Being-a-Convicted-Sexual-Offender.shtml

      • #110372

        Deathdew
        Participant
        Goints: 387

        Hello @masterplan. I have looked over your links, some of them are outdated, but it’s amazing how many sex offender compared to the UK to the US. As for internet access I am using a different IP address and they don’t monitor me as someone that had a online crime, at least me thinks. As for the 15/18 thing I am not sure what you mean. Do I agree with it? Maybe if two people are in love in consenting relationship. I steer clear of anyone slightly under 26, but for those that are in highschool like I was then it’s a different story. I like to keep um people asking questions about what we do when we encounter someone with a past like mine… If we can’t change the laws regarding a need to know bases or generally out to be humiliated. I can’t speak on behalf of child molester, but I have seen a short documentary about one guy who claims to be attracted to children ,also has not acted. I was intrigued about his claims to get better or seek treatment. I’ll post more information, battery is dying

      • #110404

        MasterPlan
        Participant
        Goints: 1,326

        The links are indeed old, so the numbers are kind of irrelevant, but I hope it helps to shed some light on the subject for those that have not a clue about it. I had no idea on the matter until I came across your post so thanks again for bringing it up.

      • #110408

        Deathdew
        Participant
        Goints: 387

        @masterplan not a problem. In fact i see your into mgtow, it does sort of go hand and hand. The injustice of being a man is a reality we need to discuss more often. Young men need to learn from mistake made by the elders, I wish I knew back then… It might have pointed me in the right direction. The laws concerning any sexual offense varies in different states to country. But Megan’s law change a lot of things in 1994, but when they applied it to all sexual offenses they saw dollar signs and politics as involved as well.

  • #110359

    Deathdew
    Participant
    Goints: 387

    Also if you don’t like what I am discussing or it’s making you uncomfortable… Then there plenty of forums to read/reply to. I am here to educate the public about what happens to people in “my similar situation. Also as to the details of my crimes, I would have been willing to disclose the circumstances of the incident, but you sound like a white knight, ready to defend some piece of ass the doesn’t give two shits about your opinion. Good day matey

    • This reply was modified 3 months, 3 weeks ago by  Deathdew.
    • #110370

      Marky Ramones Wig
      Participant
      Goints: 170

      You talk like yr the victim here bro , what about that cunt u fucked when she was fast asleep???????? My point was stop being a self centred little whiny fucker and live yr fucking life instead of moaning about laws that aren’t gonna change and u cant do nothing about…….. I get what yr saying about things being unfair and you being lumped in with kiddy fiddlers and rapists n shit but the fact is you only get one life,fucking live it bro and before you say ‘ that’s easy to say ‘ I’ve been to depths of despair and depression and managed to drag myself out of it purely because I had enough of living like that and it wasn’t easy but it’s possible

      I’m not offended by this discussion in the slightest, I find it quite interesting to read yr views so stop being a prick when you don’t like what somebody has written, u bought the subject up don’t forget

      • #110373

        Deathdew
        Participant
        Goints: 387

        @marky oh I know I have open a can of worms but like I said I not here to discuss details about my crime so you can wank over it. I am defensive cause in my postion, you would be to. I’m glad your out your depressive hole, my hole is different than yours, it’s not about who is the victim or who hurts the most from this after math. I’ll continue to discuss with like minded people, it helps “me” cope with my situation… What I did is over,true, but the aftermath is ongoing… Like neverending. Is there no remorse on my end? Idk and I am certainly not asking anyone to forgive me or accept me. Just understanding. As for being a prick just because I continue with my day to day. It’s a problem around the world, just like others that fail to be resolved. I’m not speaking out to less my crimes or to have apologize sessions. That ship has sailed. If you actually read what I am writing you can come with you own conclusions! If your going to be a tough guy behind a keyboard… Then we have nothing to discuss

      • #110379

        Deathdew
        Participant
        Goints: 387

        Also I wanted to add there was a slight misjustice on my end… Although I am not pissing and moaning about it, I am engaging in conversation about my situation. If your going to be slight with me… I give it back.

    • #110374

      Katebelate
      Participant
      Goints: 40

      Hey there. Just catching up on the forum & you have raised some very valid issues. I work within the correctional community & have seen in various occasions, similar circumstances. Unfortunately for many the stigma associated with being on a sex offenders register is soul destroying ( I’m referring to your crimes not that of the paedophile population). Many young men in society have committed crimes either under or just above age, you are one thousands. I wish you the best in moving forward & you have my upmost respect for speaking of your crimes. Take care, K x

      • #110380

        Deathdew
        Participant
        Goints: 387

        @katebelate thank you for your comments, it does shed light on the ugly fact that we convinct at a age where life is just starting… That is my man issue and I am glad you see what I see. It does help when like minded people come together and act like adults.

      • #110386

        Katebelate
        Participant
        Goints: 40

        Unfortunately like you pointed out, we are lacking any adults. A well know story near where I live is very similar to yours… is there any way we can private message on this site?? I’ll send it to you, it’s on historical sex charges… 15 year old girl & 18 year old guy. He is in his 30s being charged with rape. Terrible circumstances & the girl is simply pursuing for monetary gain. Xx

      • #110394

        Deathdew
        Participant
        Goints: 387

        @kate yea adults are far from few… Not regarding age but maturity. No private chat on this site. Are you saying he was charged at 18 or 30?

  • #110385

    Terry3xo
    Participant
    Goints: 457

    Yeah that’s pretty fucked up .. When I was in high school we had 16 year old sophomores walking the halls holding hands with 18 yr old seniors , but if they were to get caught having sex, the senior would be labeled a sex offender. I don’t get it, personally. People have sex in high school so maybe keep the seniors in their own school so they don’t have sex with the underclassmen if its such a monsterous crime. And girls that are putting it out at 15 are already fucked, child by law or not, they obviously have pro sexual tendencies driving them towards older boys for sex in the first place or it wouldnt happen. Hmmm

    • #110395

      Deathdew
      Participant
      Goints: 387

      @terry with the issue with high school is just astounding. I know a lot of people that went with that eventually went to jail/prison. The laws are mighty flawed when it comes to underage sex. Most laws past must be by some of over zealous fathers that can’t stand the thought of there daughters having sex… Especially at 15!?

  • #110440

    Terry3xo
    Participant
    Goints: 457

    @icecreamlair they are, and in high school I didn’t see the problem at first and dated a sophomore when I was a senior and everyone knew we were a thing but I remember feeling really bad about it because of her age, and that I would be graduating and living an adult life while she remained in school.. We had sex of course and people knew mostly just the guys in my grade, and no one dogged me for it or anything but I couldn’t get over the fact that she wasn’t an ideal age for me and my mom who retired as a maximum security prison guard a few years ago would never accept me having a girlfriend that age so I broke it off after a few weeks, turns out shes a trailer trash slut now so I don’t have any remorse for that one. But if I would have caught a case for that it would have been so unfair because shes turned out to be a shitty person , fucks everyone she can and has no goals in life. So yeah its definetly fucked but also it’s hard to make a relationship like that work in the first place, which is what should be deterred in the first place.. Their hearts are easy to break at that age, but I mean they are going to have sex with or without you if they want. So the structures that allow these sort of relationships should be tore down, and re built.. Have a 15-17 aged school , because believe me when I say no one said anything to me when they seen me kissing her in the hallways.

    • #110461

      Deathdew
      Participant
      Goints: 387

      @terry yes parents have to lay off who there kid sees in a relationship… If you think about, how do we learn from are mistakes. Over protective parents are a issue.

You must be logged in to reply to this topic.