Gnomes

Following endless trepidation, much scientific research has been done into strange phenomena happening to comments on Best Gore. The international scientific community eventually traced the mystery down and found an undisputed proof that Best Gore is guarded by an army of supernatural gnomes who answer to no one and eat parts of some comments alive. Professor Jenkins of the University of Wildhogstan followed up on the research and concluded that in certain cases, the horrifying gnomes swallow the entire comment whole.

The Best Gore gnomes are extremely feisty and easily irritable. Their adrenaline levels appear to sky rocket when comments contain certain stimuli linked to increased production of cholesterol in Yeti lice. When the adrenaline levels rise above the safe four-toe-dunk-stump threshold, the gnomes enter a trance of castration and start chomping on the foreskin of robotics.

Bilateral consultation with retired inter-galactic mummy revealed the secrets of the classified ceremony performed by anointed gnomes whose whiskers’ length determine the circumstantial viability of parthenogenesis. Their findings are inscribed on an unobtanium mantelpiece currently on display in Cairo museum of prehistoric stock exchange. His highness the President of Soiledcondom Republic had the honor of examining the sacred inscription and graciously shared the knowledge in the Book of Revelations. After the fan-on-high blew the book out the submarine window, its content was published on a whistle-blowing website WikiFlukes. Now everyone can learn why those damn gnomes eat comments:

  • They are all in CAPS or contain more than one whole word in CAPS
  • Contain words like “ur” instead of “your” or “cuz” instead of “cause” or “b4″ instead of “before”, etc.
  • Contain personal attacks
  • Add no value to the debate (includes single word comments – such as LOL, and comments written solely with an intention to boost the poster’s comment count)
  • Are written as if 12 year old wrote them
  • Contain spam
  • Contain undue hatred, whether racial or otherwise
  • Contain stupid questions
  • Are completely unrelated to the topic of the post
  • Are written by a hot chick who wouldn’t for the fuck of it show her tits (jk)

EDITOR’S NOTE: I have no control over actions of gnomes. Sometimes they follow their own rules, sometimes they don’t. If your comment disappears, blame the gnomes. I’m still trying to get mailing address to the gnome supreme court so you can file an appeal should you feel compelled. I keep the gnomes doped up on Snickers which has psychedelic effects on gnomes, so they hardly ever chomp on comments, but sometimes their addiction level fluctuates and leaves the creatures unpredictable. Ummm, Snickers…

What People Searched For To Land Here:

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197 thoughts on “Gnomes

    • Very true, that is :)
      Before I read those rules, I was about to comment something to someone I thought was talking about Pres Obama (I’m a liberal) and then I was like, “Fuck it, they’re on a GORE site, that’s reason enough to just acknowledge their opinion and ignore it…” Then I looked it up and found out they didn’t mean “Obama,” so that was good that I didn’t leave a death threat XD.
      I thought it was really nice that nobody’s leaving death threats to people. Not really any idiots on here, I LOVE IT! (Okay, that was a compliment to the site, was it okay that it was three capital words?) :)

  1. I have always been amazed by the quality of the boards. I knew there had to be great forces behind them! Really though, asides from the great content and steady updates…I was initially impressed by the lack of garbage comments. So many other gore sites claim “free speech” as an excuse to be lazy and not moderate their site. A million thanks; gnomes!

  2. If only these “gnomes” would start doing this to the entire internet, I wouldn’t complain! It’d make it so I don’t get a headache everytime I browse the web! Continue on, little gnomes! May the force be with you! :)

  3. Ooh…can you change the message when someone post a comment from saying,
    “This post is awaiting moderation” to
    “Gnomes are currently busy, your comment will be moderated when they give a shit”,…..or something like?? lol

  4. …..Did I just leave a different comment or am I finally going nuts?
    I think I may have been thinking…
    Oh that’s where all my comments have gone…..fucking Gnomes.
    I don’t mean to spam but I always seem to talk shit..
    (Sorry Mark)

    • Same. Weird when we stab the “post comment” button and then scroll down just to find nothing there.
      Pretty iffy to it will ever come around to see the eyes of others, sometimes that eats shit piles, because those posts are the better of the blasts, other times, the “why the fuck did I just write that ” comments are the ones that make it up onto the site with super quickness.
      Figures, wonder what’ll happen with this one……’bout to find out.

  5. “President of Soiledcondom Republic” I have looked on downloaded geographical maps for HOURS attempting to understand where this part of the world can be found, and all I can find is what looks to be Hung Like A Mouse’s toilet bowl.

  6. I have a pet gnome.
    I throw him at people that don’t know how to talk properly and he rips their tongue out.
    He’s really cute, and his tongue collection is growing every day

    • Can you clone him? I’ll buy all of his offspring . They would get fed really well and soon I’d finally be living in a neighbourhood where all of the fucking idiots would be quiet at last. People around here can’t talk properly and their brains don’t function in a normal way either.

      Because they’re such stupid cunts they need to suffer good. So I want their eyes ripped out also by the gnomes.
      I’m looking forward to taking my gnomes for a walk and put them to work. Then I’ll go sit on a bench and enjoy watching all the fucks around me being tortured as they have deserved for so long. Aah…that’ll be the first day I will like this place….when all other denizens get a good taste of their own cuntness.

  7. Holy fucking shit have you met my brain goblins then!? They eat children and tell me to make dead baby jokes and laugh at dead things! They are fucking awsome! Im going to go punch a nun in the face now! :D

  8. Well fuck Im a drunk drug addict racist clown, I thought I was at home, looks like after reading this I might get ran outta town?

  9. It’s funny because alot of people think you’re kidding but I have first-hand experience with gnomes.
    For a long time now things around the house have randomly disappeared- from clothing to electronics to pies- and usually appear under my bed, but have never been near it before. After doing some research, i found out that gnomes- probably a close cousin to the variety on bestgore- were, in fact, to blame.

  10. this made me laugh but ive noticed a lot of people are friends here and are on first name basis…….obviously there is going to be a lot of post unrelated to the topic considering there is no private message function……when you interact with the same people everyday you become friendly with them so normal chit chat is going to occur in the posts when there is no other option to talk to people

  11. ah..silly me..I just read this stuff. my english is so bad, I’ve used some sms words… erk… they must hate me now.
    my apologies to gnomes =/

  12. I wish when I click the link in my notification email it brought me to the page my comment was on… When there are over 500 comments on a posting it is exceedingly exhausting trying to locate mine.

  13. Uh oh… I used LOL in a comment, but it’s my first day.

    I knew I was going to love it here from the get go.
    People who use all CAPS and condense words (u – you) need to be culled.

  14. I really love the site especially the medical section as a student studying ophthalmology it’s really helpful on my side . More power bestgore and God bless you :) , greetings from Philippines.

  15. This is honestly the best site I’ve ever been on, and I love it!!! I’ve been trying to get my friends to come on this site and check it out but I don’t think they have yet… :( one of my friends said “I don’t know how anyone can look at that kind of stuff it beyond disgusting” I just rolled my eyes and replied “I love it” it’s nice to be on a site that has little to none of the stupid fucking crap that most other sites do. Keep up the good work gnomes. Love ya BG!!!! <3 <3 <3

    • I haven’t told any of my friends about this site because most of them will just think i am a fucking loser more then they already do :P …. and the ones i have told just don’t talk to me like they use to -_- they just don’t understand how important it is to learning and see what is actually going on in the world these days… they just seem to act as if its a dare type of thing such as asking someone to watch BME pain Olympics or two girls one cup it annoys me how they don’t take reality seriously

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