Blue Balls would be a male counterpart to the Blue Waffle girl. Although there is hardly any vaginal infection that can beat scrotum filled like an overinflated balloon with a slimy black goo.
This unfortunate man was 54 year old when this happened to him. He is from Samara, the sixth largest city in Russia. He went to a urologists with high fever and complaining of pain in his scrotum, claiming that within a span of one day, his ballsack rapidly expanded in size and turned black in color. He wasn’t kidding.
I think if I ever find my ballsack turn into Blue Balls in a manner of a single day, I wouldn’t go to a urologist. I would go straight to a gun snackbarist and ask him to shoot me. Luckily, this man did the right thing and sought assistance of a team of urologists who were able to save his reproductive organs, although his scrotum had to be amputated. His testicles were implanted each into a respective thigh.
The diagnosis by the operating urologist, when translated using Bing Translate was:
Leukocytosis with a shift of the formula to the left
This is how the urologists described the schedule of works done on the patient:
- Day 1 – Operation: the autopsy phlegmons and necrotomy. After surgery, the patient was in an intensive care, receiving comprehensive treatment with broad-spectrum antibiotics
- Day 3 – Necrotomy operation. Opening parapraktita. Drainage of pelvis using the Buâlsky method. After surgery, patient developed severe anemia, requiring cell transfusions and fresh frozen plasma
- Day 8 – Operation: moving the testicles to the inner surface of thighs
- Day 10 – Drainages are removed from the pelvis
- Day 14 – Removal of catheter urethra
- Day 18 – Plastic surgery of the penile skin using local fabrics. The results were unsatisfactory
- Day 28 – Application of Thiersch Autodermoplasty
- Day 42 – Patient was sent home in satisfactory condition
After the drainage of the nasties, the Blue Balls man underwent plastic surgery of the scrotum during which his testicles were implanted under the skin of his thighs: