Beer Gut Man Killed in Front of His Family by Burglars

Beer Gut Man Killed in Front of His Family by Burglars

Died a violent death, but to survive until 65 in Caruaru – that’s got to count for something.

The crime happened late on Wednesday April 17, 2013. Francisco de Assis Bezerra nicknamed Chico da Cebola (Chico the Onion), an onion merchant from Caruaru was hanging out with his family at home when their residence was stormed by three armed burglars with t-shirts over their heads. The thugs demanded money but because he had none at home, he offered to write them a check as a sign of good will to cooperate.

The burglars were not happy with that and shot the merchant in front of his family before fleeing through the backyard. At the end of the day the thugs left just as empty handed as they came, but caused one family unspeakable grief. It’s dangerous being a merchant in Caruaru. Or maybe I should have left “a merchant” out and say: It’s dangerous being in Caruaru. Poor epic beer gut dude.

29 thoughts on “Beer Gut Man Killed in Front of His Family by Burglars

    • I hope they got him out quickly because he looks like he was ready to explode and I’m sure the smell of the yeasty beer and rotting internal organs would’ve been epic to say the least! Ugh, i think i just threw up in my own mouth! =/

        • Haha! Not funny!! Lol jk it actually was funny- as usual and probably had some truth to it too!! 馃槈 Why you always trying to put my business out there?! Lol. You’re gonna have to work EXTRA hard to make this one up to me!!

  1. I find him sexy- for a dead guy! I really like the sexy bullet hole in his five-head and his pretty blood on the wall! I almost think it could’ve been fun to bounce on his belly! Up and down, up and down- boingy boingy! 馃槈

    On a more serious note- i feel for his family. To have to see that shit is just plain fucked! Hope they can find peace AND the pieces of shit that did this! I was going to place my phone number here so that even they find them they could call me and i could help with the lynching- but what’s the chances they’ll read my reply?! 馃槈

  2. “Beer Gut Man Killed in Front of His Family by Burglars”….”Any Fish Up That Snatch?”…”Proposed New Acapulco Coat of Arms…”

    Thar’s why I come here. Mark’s delicate, sensitive, painfully sickly sweet viewpoint.

    It’s so nice not to be subjected to bullshit!!

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