Happy Chinese New Year

Severe Vaginal Prolapse

Looks like at this point, I can say with utmost certainty that I am being effectively screwed by the Chinese New Year. I found myself in a really nice, quintessential town far, far away from popular tourist traps – a slow paced town with very quaint feel to it, lots of small eateries with homemade food for amazing prices, where absolutely nobody speaks any English and I am the only visible minority (foreigner). Still, in this Chinese community people respect me and nobody stars me down or otherwise makes my presence uncomfortable. But now the Chinese New Year arrived.

It seems like the whole place shut down. Aside from a few eateries and stores selling Chinese New Year goodies, everything’s closed. All banks are closed, post office is closed, library is closed, internet cafes are closed… and with me having a dysfunctional laptop, I’m essentially cut off from the internet.

Yesterday, after I realized what was going on, I pulled a stunt that proved to be foolish. I took a half day long trip to the nearest city, thinking that everything would be buzzing in a metropolitan business zone. Well, while I can’t effectively say it wasn’t, what I can say with complete certainty is that in the whole city, there was not a single hotel room available for rent. It reminded me of my attempt to book a restaurant table for the Valentine’s Day back when I was still wasting my time on relationships. I kept calling one restaurant after another only to be told each time that they had been fully booked for the Valentine’s for months in advance. I guess Chinese New Year is similarly crazy in China and its special economic zones.

All in all, my trip to the city ended up costing me both time and money, forced me to spend the night in a Seven Eleven and when the morning finally arrived, I had to undertake the whole journey back. Chinese New Year is nuts in some parts of Asia.

And from that point on, things just went from bad to worse. Because the trip there and back wasted all of the local currency I had, upon return back to my quintessential town, I was in desperate need to get my backup dollars exchanged, but… it’s Chinese New Year – nothing’s open. Nothing! There is nowhere I can go to get my money exchanged and since I spent all that I had on the trip, I can’t take another one to see if any money changers are open in the city.

The worth thing – everything will remain shut down for the whole duration of this week. Just fucking brilliant. So… thanks again Toshiba for screwing me up like this! And Gong Xi Fa Cai to everyone else. I will be involuntarily quiet for a few days.

Vincit Omnia Veritas,

Mark

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180 thoughts on “Happy Chinese New Year

  1. So much for that Chinese prosperity eh? Not a complaint, just curious,…I noticed you got the gnomes on full effect. Is this your helping hand? Or an attempt to clean up a little? It can be a pain, when you write a comment and it gets eaten. I don;t know about others, but I like it! Reminds me of older, less flooded days.

  2. Don’t worry Mark at least you haven’t been picked clean off the road by a DWA and left for dead on the side while everyone around you pretends they don’t see you cause then you’d really be in a pile of it neck deep.

  3. If you were staying in a small town in China it is no wonder the place is deserted, most of the people would have headed for the larger cities to celebrate Chinese new year.

    I used to live in Hong Kong and I’ve stayed in Beijing quite a bit and those places never shut down, they are busy from day to night throughout the year, even Christmas.

    Oh, and thanks for that photo at the top, I had to try to explain to my colleagues why I started to laugh when I saw it as we were eating ramen at that moment and one of them had noodles hanging out of his mouth.

    Well, at least it gave me a break from having to pretend I like the pretentious bastards.

    • @EmptySoul- That’s funny! Love me some ramen!! Did you show them the flick?? I’m sure they would’ve loved some entertainment while eating breakfast (or whatever meal your having at this time)! =)

      • Hi Juicy,

        Sadly, I expect the world and its mistress would frown upon my viewing selection.

        I would probably get fired if the management found out therefore I keep it hush hush, unfortunately even though we live in a world full of war, rape, murder and pillage the everyday population tend to live in ignorance and they like to keep it that way because for them ignorance is bliss therefore they tend to react with horror when presented with the harsh reality that is life.

        • Ramen is good but I like the one that already comes in a microwaveable cup and has tiny pieces of carrots and peas sometimes even shrimp for the shrimp flavored ones…instanoodles or something I think its called but maybe not. I don’t know, there some in my kitchen pantry but I’m too lazy to go look but im sure everyone knows what I’m talking about and have seen them before especially since they seem to be Ramens main competitor in the noodle biz.

          • If the water that comes out of your faucet is hot enough, you don’t even have to microwave those noodle cups. Just fill it up, and wait a few minutes. It’s very convenient when you’re drunk at 5a.m.

          • Very true, I just finished making some and they’re called Maruchan instalunch and they are awesome.

          • Us kids of welfare Moms used to call them “cup of noodles”. Not really sure why… ;)

          • @Miss Juicy…maybe cause it is a cup of noodles silly girl! Grew up on that as well…but I must admit I love Ramen chicken flavor with tapatio in it. MOST DELICIOUS!

          • Lol, ooh- that’s why!!! ;) Yes!! Tapatio!!I loved the oriental flavor packs, but daaaaaaaaamn that’s msg central!!!Lol and still like 15 cents a pack! Brings me back.. I miss ghetto cheese too. Lol ;)

          • I think I’m kinda addictedto bg now, and ooh learning about Canada too. Its weird, I never cared so much until I joined this site and now I’m learning so much cool shit that I want to go!!!

          • I’m also addictedto flossing.I carry floss everywhere i go. I always have some. I have tight contactsand I’m very much into oral hygiene and the way things smell! A guy could have one of these here “prolapses” from any orafice and if he smelled like Hugo, Eternity, Polo Sport, etc- it would be ALL good! He’d have to have minty breath too though. Those are the requirements! That brings me to my next addiction- Perfume! If you want to know what i smell like, its usually Ralph Lauren Romance, DKNY BeDelicious, Coach Poppy, Vera Wang Princess, ETC! I’m addictedto perfume!So for Valentines, send me perfume and whips n chains! I don’t even like chocolate! Ok, there’s my more personalized addiction!

    • would definitely make a disgusting sound. I wonder how much more could be pulled out? With a good yank you could probably pull out her entire reproductive organs, womb, ovaries and maybe parts of the abdominal wall.

  4. Dorner is freakin awesome, now a man who is trained in Special tatics and Firearms and survival and demolition will give the Feds and Pigs Hell.

    He’s living out one of my dreams, he killed a bunch of pigs including the 28yrold daughter of a Pig captain, He shot and killed the daughter and her Black Fiancee. Killed Race Mixers too!?!?! Go Dorner!

      • This man has done nothing that he should be idolized for. If he had murdered one of your loved ones@Hawk, I can only guess that you would not think so highly of him!

        • @Sagemoon Well, lets see. Dorner killed some Gang Members (LAPD) and people associated with them… and the LAPD shot up 3+ innocent people in their rampaging search for Dorner. The LAPD or Pigs for that matter are far far more likely to kill my family members and get away with it because they “resisted arrest”.
          Go Dorner, all members of the LAPD are guilty by association.

          and Sagemoon… what on earth does “If he had murdered one of your loved ones” mean??

          We’re on BG, we see innocent people, theives, rapist, murderers, children get mained, crushed, shot, burnt, and kill all the TIME, and many of us make funny and lewd comments… and you could say to every single BG post….”If it was one of your loved ones”

          • Dorner knows if he actively takes on his intended targets (pig cops) he won’t survive. I think what he’s planning to do is either drag this on as long as possible which wouldn’t be very long or he’s preparing for a final confrontation against the LAPD which I belive is what he’s planning. He knows how they think and act and that’s probably the only real advantage he has and is probably what has kept him on the run this long, but sooner or later he will have to face his targets head on and I think that’s when things are going to get Intresting. The closer they get the more dangerous and desperate he’ll become, I’m sure he knows the only real way out of this is death and anything else would be less than a man’s way of going out…for one thing he’s a cop and even if he is a cop killer that won’t change the fact that he use to be a cop so going to prison isn’t something he’s gunna wanna do. People are saying he might go to Mexico to escape the death sentence which I would really like to see how that plays out..either way I don’t think Mexico will make a big deal about the death penalty and will hand him over without question if caught over there..personally I think he knows better than to head for Mexico and will probably go towards Canada if he does choose to run like bitch. People admire Dorner because of what he’s doing..what many wish they themselves could do and that is to take on an entire corrupt police force that is responsible for destroying many lives. Instead of being a victim to the LAPD he’s making victims out of them, its almost like something out of a movie only there won’t be any happy ending in this story…that is unless Dorner manages to kill many many cops then that would be the best happy ending I could think of. People forget that Dorner was a cop, corrupt or not hes the same as every pig that roams the streets and would have no problem killing anyone who gets in there way innocent or guilty it doesn’t matter. Pigs only care about themselves and keeping themselves cloaked in power, the same power that corrupts them and will make them do anything and everything possible to hold on to it…it just so happens Dorner has lost this power and is seeking some way of keeping or holding on to it, targeting cops probably gives him the feeling of even more power than before especially since he’s turned tables and has made them his Target and is making them fear for their lives and the lives of those they love. Make no mistake a pig will have no problem killing an innocent person if the choice comes down to that innocent person or them. Pigs give the illusion of being protectors of the innocents but thats false and after a while a pig will eventually become corrupt by the gun and badge that he wears and will then begin to view himself above the law and the innocents he swore to protect…after a while every innocent becomes guilty in their eyes and that’s when a cop will go from protecting and serving the public to being a worthless pig who only cares about protecting and serving himself.

    • Now that I think about it, was there any evidence that Dorner actually killed anyone or was it all based on statements from the fine fellers down at the lapd?

      • No evidence. Just going off of what he said in his manifesto. I think Dorners awesome and I’ve been following what’s been going on. It is like a movie. Can’t wait to see what happens. He’s gonna kill as many dirty cops that did him.wrong as he can….then hell most likely be killed.

        • Funny thing is, if this whole thing were a movie the entire audience would be on Dorner’s side. People love vigilante justice until it actually happens. If he did actually kill innocent people, well, that’s a shame. It’s difficult to know what to believe anymore. The only facts in life we can be absolutely sure about are the things that happen to us first-hand, everthing else is just what we’re told, and trust is wearing thin these days.

          • If I was Dorner I would leave the state for a while head north-east and let things cool down if that’s even possible, then I’d go back to LA and start to pick off pigs one by one using false 911 calls to get them into open areas where I’d be able to snipe them easily without being spotted, those areas would also be set up with homemade explosives and other traps insuring the death of any pig that walks into that trap. The Hollywood hills and surrounding neighborhoods would make a great place for a sniper to unleash hell on unsuspecting pigs, alot of cover and higher ground is what makes that area perfect for sniping. I’d also employ the same “in-car sniping” tactics which were used by the D.C. snipers and Iraqi insurgents..sniping from inside a car has been proven to be very effective in an urban environment. I think its obvious by now he’s not gunna pull a Rambo first blood and take on a bunch of cops in the woods, he has a better chance of taking them on in an urban area, but that also increases the chances of him being spotted and caught. He should be preparing for when they catch up to him and there’s no way out…if I was him and got cornered with no way out and no more ammunition to keep killing pigs I would surrender and wait till I was around as many pigs as possible then set off the hidden explosives strapped to my body taking all the pig bastards I could to hell with me.

          • Now the latest report is that Dorner is holed up in a cabin exchanging gunfire with cops. Once again, no evidence that he’s actually there, just the audio of shit tons of gunshots. If he is in there, I hope he gives them hell. Once this is all over I’m sure little, if any, truth will make it to us.

          • Yeah I’m watching it to, I will tell you one thing no matter what happens I don’t think they’re going to let Dorner walk away alive from that cabin even if he surrenders they’re gunna put one in his head and say he fought back so I hope for his sake he does.

          • Personally, I’d questionANYTHING they say until some solid proof is posted right here on this site! I have no faith in the media and all their sensationalism! I still questionSandy Hook on a lot of things…

    • … She called for her Husband,
      who came in a snap-

      He took a quick look and reached for his hat-

      His keys and his phone
      were on his mind too-

      The old lady was stunned, she said- “Well, just what are you Gina do?”

        • Lmao, i was going to make it so bad ass, that i was gonna get hella compliments! Maybe if someone asks me realllllllllly nice, I’ll try again…MAYBE! :)

          • Allow me to try…
            There was an old lady who lived in a shoe, she fingered her pussy and out came some goo.
            she asked for a doctor to please have a look, as he opened her snatch out came more gook.
            so he sewed her snatch shut with a needle and thread, he said she would be fine but her pussy was dead.

          • @broke-FUCK THAT! I’m not even gonna touch that now becauseyou killed that shit! You’re fucking awesome, real talk! That was badass! You are talented my friend, I’m going to be waiting for you to make me one but fuck me, be nice becauseyou ripped that lady to shreds! I’m going to bed mad though becauseyou stole MY spotlight! I’m weak compared to grandmaster flash Brokeback!

          • Did you say encore?…

            Mary Mary quite contrary, your pussy emits something scary.
            I don’t know how to tell you this, I’m trying to be blunt.
            But instead of shitting out your ass, you’re shitting out your cunt.
            I don’t know what you’ve eaten, it looks like corn and nuts.
            If that’s not shit we’re seeing then you’re spewing out your guts.
            You’d better see a doctor and you’d better do it quick.
            Cuz if you sprout a set of balls, you might just have a dick.

          • BB- you’re one talented dude! I like how smooth you flow! I could read/listen to it all day!

  5. Good god. It looks like some corn, chewing gum, and a piece of shrimp had an orgy. I know that’s not food, but I have to try to make sense of this nastiness somehow…!

  6. Holy shit on a shingle, I’m a nurse and have seen uterine prolapses before, but none of them resembled this!! I don’t know why, but seeing this turns my stomach more than 99% of the posts on here

    • Meeee toooooo!!! Damn!! I think i need an anti-anxiety because I’m scared that this could happen one day! I’m definitely sitting a little tighter right now because of it! Lol

    • I was a CNA for elderly care and usually when women have prolapsed uterus’ they look like testicles. LOL. This… not so much. That’s why I think she’s dead.

      • Last time I saw a prolapsed uterus, the tissue was firm and a deep pink color, not this odd colored oozy stuff that appears to be riddled with adipose tissue. Whatever it is, perhaps the woman had already had a historectomy and something else is coming out. I’d bet on it

      • I was moving around some furniture in my apartment today when I felt a sharp pain in my mid back. Might just be nothing but there’s a chance I might have a few screws loose.

          • @Brokeback, This sounds like it could be serious. You don’t leave home with the lights on do you?? lol ;)

          • That reminds me…my neighbour said he knockedon my door yesterday…the lights were on but I was’nt there.

          • @brokes,
            when you looked under your furniture
            did you also find some marbles and the couple of sandwiched that were short for your picnic?

          • @wicked mama, No…but I did find the missing pressure release valve screw for my penis pump.

          • @brokey I remember when you lost that valve! I’m glad you found it. Now get back to pumpin! Sounds like your gonna get a visit soon from @juicy. And you wanna send her back lookin like that picture, right?

          • @1girl- I was going you let him address that one, but remembered hearing about his “15 inch cock” and decided to chime on in! There’s no way my 5 foot 3 self could accommodate such an anaconda! Especially with all the kegals I’ve been doing! Pretty sure i couldn’t swallow that piece either and we all know how he feels about girls that barf during BJ’s! Its probably best if i stay on this side of the Canadian border! Lol

  7. I’m sorry that happened to you, Mark. Hang in there though. If anybody can make it through a shitty situation like that its you, I’m sure! Best of luck! “See” you soon.

  8. In honor of Mark being abroad in China (and to take everyone’s mind off of that awful picture above, and because it seems there may be nothing else to do on BG for a while…and because I feel like telling a joke about a Chinese guy), here’s a joke about a Chinese guy:

    There were a bunch of coal miners, down in a mine mining coal one day (as coal miners are wont to do), when they started running low on the shit they needed to mine coal (pickaxes, TNT, batteries for the lights on their helmets, etc.). The newest coal miner, a Chinese guy, was little more at this point in his coal mining career than an errand boy for the other coal miners. The foreman, realizing the minor predicament of the coal mining operation, said to the Chinese guy, “Hey, I need you to go back up top for supplies.” The Chinese guy obediently did as he was told, and the other coal miners waited…and waited…and waited for him to return. After a few hours had passed, the now pissed off foreman finally decided to go find out what the fuck was taking the Chinese guy so Goddamn long, so he went up top to look for him. Just as the foreman approached the opening of the mine, the Chinese guy jumped out from behind a boulder, waving his arms in the air, and shouted “SUPPLIES!!!”

    =p

  9. I’m sorry, but besides the obvious, that vag is a bit strange. Where’s both the lips or the clit? It looks sideways. What kinda hole is that? I’m confused.

  10. sorry to hear that your trip is getting worse :/ especially on chinese new year, which is the most important chinese holiday, and supposed to be a happy time of year. i hope things start looking up for you soon.

    on that note: 我祝大家新年快樂、恭喜發財同埋身體健康。

  11. Maybe the body was run over by duel drive wheels in China and the only photo is of the corpse on the morgue table focused on the snapper……Mark started this site and he can say whatever the Fuck he wants. Gnomes may have had too many snickers.

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