Konichewa Motherfuckers

Degloved Penis

Konichewa Motherfuckers,

Shit hit the fan yesterday and my 5 weeks old laptop crapped out on me. I scraped as much funds as I could to upgrade from the $230 worth of netbook with 11″ screen and 1GB RAM I had been using for 4 years so I upgraded during the Boxing Day price drop.

And here I am, half way across the globe, somewhere in the middle of Asia with a laptop that no longer works. I did not bring the receipt with me cause I didn’t think I was leaving with a piece of junk that was only gonna work for barely over a month.

I called Toshiba Canada yesterday and the tech said after I described the problem to him that they would fix it but because Toshiba laptops don’t come with international warranty, I would have to have it fixed in Canada. Which means I would have to ship it to someone so they can ship it to Toshiba because Toshiba would have to ship repaired unit back to the address in Canada so then that someone would have to ship it to me wherever in the world I’ll be at the time. If all goes well, I’m looking at one and a half to three months without the means to post updates. From time to time I may be able to make an appearance from an internet cafe, but… have you ever been in an internet cafe in a third world country in Asia???

I was thinking what I’d do with all that new gained time I will have now. Maybe I’ll do what normal people do and like… watch TV or some shit. But anyway, I’ll try to do my best to make a post here and there at least every couple of days, although I’ll do my better to conjure more. There will be a slow down, though. Buying a replacement notebook would be an option, if I weren’t the poorest man in the world. But I’ll be looking for retired, third party knock offs which hopefully will go for a low price.

Mark

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103 thoughts on “Konichewa Motherfuckers

        • Well, if they did it wouldn’t have been too effective as the native Americans weren’t one united group, but rather a bunch of separate ones who often warred with one another. Tangentially, I mean no offense to Indians, it’s just the word for that type of interaction.. In fact I don’t know what else it is called other than Indian giving. :(

    • It’s quite a common practice to not have a usable warranty outside the country of purchase. I stupidly bought a Mac off eBay International which came from Canada so when it went poof!, Apple wouldn’t do anything about it since I wasn’t in Canada

  1. NO!. Will one of you well heeled members kindly send Mark the coin for a nice new laptop A.S.A.P.. If I wasnt broke as shit I would do it in a heartbeat.

  2. Oh no! Just when I thought we were over the Northern Territories Sasquatch bride search, he ends up in fucking Asia. Oh well, good luck and don’t rent any jet skies.

  3. I wish I could travel the world too. Right now the only trip I can afford is crossing the border into Mexico, chilling there for a while. Crossing into central, and south America (bolivia, peru, equador, arjentina, uruguey). I would have to go about it by hitching rides, all the way to Brazil.

      • Well shit, I wish I could figure it out. I’m about to snap living in this money-loving society, working job after job with no meaning, just to pay for shit that falls from the sky or grows from the earth. It’s about time I go Kaczyski-style and build a cabin in the middle of nowhere, without all the bombings though. Safe travels Mark.

  4. Air Asia to west Australia for $50 and ill buy you one. I just gave up pot so I need to feed some sort of vice… Jeesarse all the money I’ve saved on not buying weed has to go to a good cause, I was thinking of a new lawn mower but that can wait

  5. Well its not like we haven’t been thru this before where Mark disappears for a short period and we have to make due…perhaps this would be a good time to explore older post that I’ve missed and maybe even vist the oldies but goodies.

  6. Nice to hear form you Mark. Sorry about you computer…

    I already sent you some material. Nevertheless is not as gory as some exclusive material I have found. I will send the exclusive soon.

    See ya Mark

    Stay tuned…

    P.S. Fuck Toshiba!

  7. Lol crazy story mark! Toshiba laptops used to be indestructible but since 2010 they’ve dropped in quality and are all about the sex appeal looks not functioning. my old toshiba used to get pretty hot. Hope its an easy fix!

  8. If you put up your Paypal info we could all contribute $25-$50 and you could get your shit together fast. We could also hold an international bake sale…

    • He could get THE ultimate laptop… an apple then. It’s healthy… the dude is dead who first invented it… it’s for braindead or zombies… but isn’t that the same? Also I’d so particepate in this international bake sale! <3

      • maybe we can contribute in doing a gore-athone to get mark the best of the best and then some since he is in asia, might as well get him laid too!

    • I would participate as well.ark if you get something up like what Miss Tubesteak suggested let us know. I’m sure the majority of us could donate something. “Every dollar counts”! I’m pretty sure we all need Best Gore in our lives or else we wouldn’t be here almost every day. So…set it up, if not for yourself, for us. Pretty please?

      • In the past J3Z, people have been asked to donate.
        What was found is that people could talk the talk but not walk the walk.
        All in all only myself and a few others ultimately donated… in other words about 3 people out of 6 million donated :(

    • One year ago I had a PayPal donation form on the site and each month people donated enough to cover for server costs. Then a do gooder whined to PayPal and they banned my account, freezing all donations with it.

    • LOL… check out all the noobs!
      Y’all need to do your BG homework and read this (whole) site – not just come for da pwetty pictures.
      And if you haven’t noticed Mark loathes Apple products.

      @TP… like the bake sale idea ~ what kind of ‘baking’ though? ;)

    • Multiple reasons, including avoidance of the ZIonists and the fact that all I have to survive on for a month is $600. Some countries are better for people on tight budget.

        • @1girl1cup for me I’ve eaten the cheap cup noodles for a long time *my parents were always broke* so now the sight and smell of cup noodles is somewhat disgusting >.> trust me you will get sick of eating the same food over and over again -.-

          • asians eat the same thing over and over.
            but remember we are not talkin about american versions of noodles. Mark will surely not be eating “cup of noodles”.

  9. WOW! this is such terrible news. I can’t believe that this happened to you Mark, what rotten luck

    But i think every time I would normally be on Best Gore I will check it and if no updates I will work out for the same time frame I would be on this site. So I should be insanely buff after about 2 weeks if there is no updates…

  10. You can get plenty of laptop action in Asia for very little money, however be warned that these little beauties often come with viruses and sometimes, when you think that you are getting a male to female connection, you will be shocked to find a male to male connection instead.

  11. I’m sure we could all pitch in to help him get a new laptop, as suggested above.
    Quit being assholes and come off some cash for this poor man who devotes his time to keeping us entertained.
    I sure as hell can’t imagine even a day without some new shit to eyeball. And going without you lovely people and your continuous race for top witty shitty jokes and puns is unfathomable.

  12. i don’t know about the rest of asia and i know that you said you weren’t going to stay in hong kong, but my siblings managed to get decent laptops from there for a relatively cheap price (cheaper than buying them in the uk, anyway). maybe it’s possible to get such laptops from other good cities in asia, depending on which country you’re in at the moment.

    • I only flew to Hong Kong because that was a way for me to get to Asia for under $400. I couldn’t stay there because it’s beyond my budget. I only spent one night at the airport and then flew to another country. It cost me $30 with Air Asia. When money is tight, it’ unbelievable what workaround you come up with. The downside was that I had to spend 2 consecutive nights sleeping on two different airport floors.

  13. To be honest, the fact that we’ve all been using this site for free is something we should acknowledge.
    I don’t think it would kill us to all send something to Mark, if enough people send a small amount then he should be able to get something that will do the job.
    @tom, it’s up to Mark if he wants to ‘travel the world’, no doubt he’s doing it on an absoloute shoestring.
    Point is, Mark works like a dog on this site and we get to enjoy it subscription free.

        • Thanks wicked mama…
          This is (obviously) a touchy subject for me.
          Not because I want/expect more acknowledgement – but because I don’t understand why more people don’t consider donating to their favorite online entertainment.
          Having said that, I know it is my bad for having expectations of others (a bad habit I am trying to give up).
          Thanks mama for stepping up and saying what needs to be said :)

  14. Sorry to hear about your plight, Mark. I remember reading somewhere before about the whole PayPal donations fiasco…what a load of shit that is. I hate those fuckers, as they treat their customers’ finances like they can do whatever the fuck they want with them, and there’s not much anyone can do about it unless they’re already shitting money out of their assholes and can hire an expensive-ass lawyer to start a decade-long court battle. I only use them on occasion (and out of sheer necessity), as I’m oftentimes broke as a fucking joke and need to sell shit on eBay…but, on EVERY one of my auctions, I make it crystal-clear that the item won’t ship until payment has actually been deposited into my bank account, as I don’t trust PayPal any further than an old man shoots his load. They pulled some bullcrap one time where they were “holding” payment for one of my auctions until I shipped the item, it was received by the buyer, AND the buyer posted positive feedback (which buyers frequently forget to do). Needless to say, I just canceled the fucking auction and ended up looking like a prick…but oh well.

    Anyway, I wish I could shoot you some cash now and then, as BG is the best site of its type on the web. Unfortunately, it’d be more “then” than “now”, as the only thing I’ve had in my wallet lately is a cloud of dust that puffs out when I go in there looking for money.

    =/

    Best of luck, and I hope you have a safe return!

  15. Mark: Not sure how much you’d like this idea, but how about giving some of the regular contributors of suggestions (Hawk, drccoco etc) the ability to post direct to the site whie you’re limited on access? I know you tried gving a few contributors access years ago but not much came of it.

    I’d offer myself but I know full well I only registered recently and so I haven’t really “proved” myself (alhough I can write pretty well-ish).

    It’d maybe keep the site flowing if a handful of people were allowed say three updates each per day.

    • Well I do not think it is a vacation like normal where you spend more money than a regular week. This is the neccessary things you got to do when you are broke. I would travel around the USA if I was poor, so I understand Mark wanting to move around. If you are poor and your home country wants to throw you in jail, I would get out too.

    • Laptop, expensive. Third world countries, dirt cheap to live in. When you are living to travel, or traveling to live, you can do so on spare change, even in the largest cities. Unlike most peoples’ “vacations” where you stay in useless sterile overpriced bathroom stalls called resorts. Drink your imported american beers for only 4-5$ a drink. Continualy get burned by locals, and fall into every overpriced tourist trap, in the biggest citu you can find, while you glutton around someone elses country. But, on the oter hand don’t gotta be rich to live in 3rd world.

  16. I’ve made this website my daily objective for a year now..It’ll be so sad with so few posts. Having just the one new post yesterday threw me for a loop..me, my brother, and my fiancee will be missing you, Mark!

  17. out of the 100,000 plus people who go to bestgore.com on the regular, some of you must be well off, after all that mark has done with his time for our enjoyment, Somebody send him a laptop or money plz, im sure the daily content will make up for it…..shit if no one steps up, i am packing up one of my laptops, headed straight for asia lol hit me up if nothing pans out mark [email protected]

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