Candiru – Vampire of the Amazon

Candiru - Vampire of the Amazon

I’m sure by now many of you have heard the horror stories about the fish in the Amazon river that swims up your urethra and latches itself inside with it’s spikes, sucking your blood and causing excruciating agony. This creature has a name. It is the Candiru, a tiny catfish native to South America.

I am happy to report, however, that the stories of the candiru are grossly exaggerated and investigation over the decades have yielding very little in the way of evidence supporting the fact that they go around attacking people urinating in the river. The biggest myth was that they are attracted to human urine and will actually jump up the urine stream and into the dick hole lickity split. Although anyone with even a rudimentary knowledge of physics would know that such a thing would be impossible given the size of the urethral opening compared with the size of the fish (they force their way in while underwater). And the urine attraction myth was also debunked as of 2001. I don’t know exactly how they went about disproving the theory but it may have been interesting, to say the least.

The only “stream” these fish are actually attracted to are the ones coming from the gills of fish. The candiru slips inside the gills and anchors itself with spikes where it then sucks blood to satisfaction, detaches itself and goes to the river bottom to digest.

However, although very rare, cases of human “infestation” with candiru have been documented. I don’t know the details of the images here but they may be from the most well-known case of the modern era from Itacoatiara, Brazil in 1997 when a 23-year-old man was infiltrated. He claimed that he was urinating into the river and the fish jumped out of the water and into his dick hole. Despite this being untrue, he did indeed have a candiru inside him that had to be surgically removed. Why he wanted to keep the myth alive is anyone’s guess. I chalk it up to people just like a good story and sometimes the truth is just too boring. But, the fact of the matter is that you are in no real danger when you go to South America…at least not by a parasitic dick fish.

103 thoughts on “Candiru – Vampire of the Amazon”

  1. It might seem possible to those guys who like sex toys like sounds, that stretch a man’s urethra all the way up through his prostate. If you’re a guy with a penis that has 1/2″ I.D. (inside diameter, as in water pipe) then MAYBE some little fish might find its way. Then again, there are probably more men with penises that are more like 1/2″ Outside Diameter – so they would no doubt be safe.

  2. I always aim my wee wee towards the ceiling or the sky and pee in an arc to prevent an infestation such as this. Making sure to release urine in short intermittent spurts instead of one long stream. Thanks for the knowledge @Obli, now I can stop doing that, but I’m not sure I want to.

  3. I believe back in the 70s, King Dong, the famous porn star, was having a Jimmy Riddle in the sea, when low and behold, a Conga eel swam up his cock through his huge japs eye !

    Rumour has it he never went in the sea again after that.

          1. Yes @cheeky, the thing is a real monster … not to be trifled with ! 😛

            I’m afraid the tape was lost way back, I don’t remember where it went, but most probably borrowed ( forever ) by someone.

          1. Haha, long Dong Silver.

            Hey @cheeky, does the word ” Dong ” exist in your mother tongue/language ?, if so, what does it mean, and don’t say Big Cock !! 😛

          2. @Cheekyme03 Hey! I’m still pretty new to this site, and I know I have my own sets of rules about what info. I give out, so I totally get it if you’re cautious. I just wanted to see if I can find out what Country you live in? 🙂 If it helps, me, myself, with my family live in California, USA. I never give out the town but scarily it’s probably not that hard to figure out…yaaayyy. Well hopefully there’s no stalkers on this page lol, besides me of coarse. Lol totally kidding. And I’m a woman with a son and disabled mother that live with the rest of us, so I’m cautious and careful for them as well, but I know the rest of us that live here would never let anything happen to them. Anyway, I was thinking U.K.? Or Scottland? I have family all over France as well; and a sprinkleful in Ohio.
            Anyway, I find the U.K. Incredibly interesting, and would love to learn more about it by someone actually living there…My mom has only been back to France once when my father passed from Melanoma in ’89, after moving here in sixty-nine, when she was 33. She is now 68 and in badly need of surgery so until that’s done I can’t even take her back to see her younger bro and his adorable son, my 1st cousin, who just turned six in June. My unc is in his mid- to-late 50’s, but all he ever wanted was a child. He was married to a woman in her thirties, close to my age, go Unc! 😉 But they were already planning a divorce, and she knew how much he wanted a child, and what a great step-father he was to her older son, she knew he would be the BEST DADDY EVER! So in the midst of a VERY-“friendly” divorce, they consummated their divorce and conceived their beautiful son! A handsome, sweet, smart, thoughtful, but of coarse can also be a stinker at times lol, little boy! God Bless! 😀

            P.S. Hope to hear back , and if you don’t feel comfortable than it’s no biggie, I would totally uncerstand!

        1. Haha, easy done @karmen. Long Dong Silver, the name rang a bell, but I honestly couldn’t remember him. That’s probably ‘cos I moved on to better class porn soon after ! … there’s only so much of looking at a huge dick a man can take ! 😉

          1. @ewe and karmen..
            Don’t really have idea on that pornstars.. with those “dongs” in their name.. I always forgot names of leading man in porns after im done using them in my imagination.. but that Peter North.. damn i just can’t forget about him.. lol

  4. The kind of men who claim that vampire fish are attracted to cocks are the same kind of men who claim that South American Lungfish love entering men’s rectums.

    The above types of men would probably try to sell you the story of the cock nibbling squirrel, the nipple tweaking swan and the testicle chomping gazelle.

    These types of men always have a unique story to go along with it as well. They will tell you all about that fateful day when they were hiking in the nude and a hungry goat appeared out of nowhere and mistook his cock for an undercooked chipolata.

    They will make sure that you understand full well the time when they were jogging through a farmers field when, lo and behold, his pants suddenly fell down around his ankles and he fell forward and cock first into an unsuspecting sheep’s anus.

    It’s best to just keep a safe distance from those kind of men.

          1. Glad your out @Steeltoe! I did 8 in Pelican Bay. Was only suppose to do 5, but damn, I just couldn’t seem to play well with the other inmates!
            But I’m glad your out. Try to keep your nose clean, bud. Prison ain’t no place to live.
            By the way, welcome to best gore!

    1. @itwasme isn’t that the kartrashian fish? Thought I read about it on E. Latches on to a dick. Very scary looking hunts in packs. By the time you see it your dick is sticking out the tip of its ass. Also called Michael Sam, or the scariest to me. The Romo fish.

  5. I think there are some females out there that are capable of doing the same thing to men and they can pinch a man’s wallet at the same time. They’re referred to as “gold-digging trouser trout killers”!

  6. Parasitic dick fish suck and not in the good way!

    This guy was lucky. The myth I heard entailed the guy requiring his dick to be slit lengthwise in twain like a hot dog to remove the candiru, as it had matured to the extent that the barbs were too long and embedded too deep. This is why the indigenous Amazon dwelling fishermen wore a large seashell for a cup while in the water dragging their nets or spear fishing. That and also for protection from hungry piranha.

    Today, there are men who would pay a lot of money to have those. The kids call it CBT.

  7. Bet those little fuckers are high in protein. I’d bet that once caught, salted and dried out, they might make a good snack for anyone who’s adventurous minded. Shit, people eat scorpions, grasshoppers, cats, dogs, so why not these little buggers

      1. In place of anchovies?? Prolly not. But if someone dared me, of course imma check it out. I’d be deep frying them with sesame and chili oils, then slapping some Mandarin sauce, and panko crumbs which I forgot to mention. Panko crumbs are the yummiest and a usefull breading for dishes like

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