Man Caught Stealing Goats Brutally Chopped Up with Machete, Both Hands Cut Off

Man Caught Stealing Goats Brutally Chopped Up with Machete, Both Hands Cut Off

Brazilian man named Josemar Ferreira de Sousa ended up in a hospital brutally chopped up with a machete and with both hands cut off, after he was attacked by Norberto da Silva Moraes who had allegedly caught Josemar attempting to steal his goats.

After turning Josemar into a bloody mess, Norberto da Silva Moraes called the police and waited until they arrived. The police however arrested him right away for attempted murder. So much for doing the right thing – next time he should just let the thief bleed to death helpless in the field and spare himself the hassle of dealing with police and being arrested.

Props to Best Gore member @Hugsthemuffin for he video.

UPDATE

A friend from Brazil told me that the man in the video is a drug trafficker from Rio de Janeiro, not a goat thief. At this stage, I am not sure which version is right.

165 thoughts on “Man Caught Stealing Goats Brutally Chopped Up with Machete, Both Hands Cut Off”

    1. Drag him over to the wood chipper that’s aimed into the pig’s feeding trough… obviously divvy’ing him up into sections wouldn’t be an issue. Again, hands off to the butcher. Hands down; you can’t say he isn’t up to par with the digital age. Maybe he should’ve fired up the frier and made his goats ladies fingers…

  1. How this guy is alive is beyond me, you’d think he would have bled out. A very rare win for a da Silva. Although he will probably be killed in prison. “There are no happy endings for the da Silvas in this world.” Had he owned pigs body disposal would not have been an issue.

          1. Cheeky I am Sure you are right about the goats. You do know I was only joking right? I thought it would be funny to imagine a man running away with a big ole goat on his back. You are smart though. If I go goat stealing,I am coming to pick you up. We’d make a hell of a goat stealing twosome.

          1. Tank girl,

            I never even thought about fainting goats. That is hilarious. I would have taken a trust worthy friend to help me. The scarry thing is that I immediately had, a few of my friends that would help me.

    1. ***How do you steal goats, anyway? By putting Groucho glasses on each one you want and walk away whistling like they?re not stolen?

      πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

      Be careful not to put contacts on the poor bastards…

      They could dice you for drugging them!!

  2. Damn both hands cut off and slices every where including a piece of his skull hanging there. I can’t believe the doctors are just letting him lay there. No I.V. or anything. Wonder if he’s numb or if he’s feeling the pain

    1. ***damn those had wounds look nasty. wtf are the docs doing, waiting for him to bleed out?

      From the looks of things BB, he’s got to be pretty close to the “E-Mark” on the tank…

      Christ, at any time now, we might start seeing a halo…

      Having to confess, that I found a nun’s rosery in with my skivies, isn’t going to be easy!!

      …God, I hope it was big enough
      …but she was “speaking in tongues.”

      WHEW!!
      GOOD!!

    2. ***damn those had wounds look nasty. wtf are the docs doing, waiting for him to bleed out?

      I think this is how the hand, made his debut on “The Adam’s Family.”

      I don’t know what the other hand would be good for…

      However, Lurch was always smiling, when he stood next to the hand, so go figure!!

  3. Something tells me a goat thief in a third world country probably doesn’t have the best medical coverage. And if he does somehow miraculously pull through he won’t be heading to the petting zoo anytime soon.

    1. he will survive. dying and not putting up with life with no hands is the easy way out. He will suffer till he dies. can’t even grab a knife, can’t shot him self, can’t drive a car. It’s gonna be a long life.

      1. I bet he’ll be playing guitar, fixing a car, preparing dinner, texting a buddy, sewing a lost button, etc, etc only to wake up to realize he was dreaming and this his reality. Oh imagine the absolute anguish for that split second until acceptance takes over once again.
        Also, how much time it would take for him to key “Don’t Worry, Be Happy” into the YouTube search field? He’d be way better off just getting the CD.

  4. I thought cutting the hands for stealing something is related to islam, this is so weird I see ISIL and los zetas how are they close in actions except some details, and also this one here, I can’t forget that video of isis guys cutting a hand of someone stopped praying. wow people are learning from each others alot lately.

    1. its a culture thing actually. It has nothing to do with isil. it’s even in the bible. it’s common sense. someone steals. they should cut off the problem at the root. or take away his tools so he won’t steal no more.

      1. ***its a culture thing actually. It has nothing to do with isil. it?s even in the bible. it?s common sense. someone steals. they should cut off the problem at the root. or take away his tools so he won?t steal no more.

        …I’m glad no one took away my tool elmaspison

        My wife sure as fuck, didn’t marry me for my money!!

  5. with his severed hand just sat there it strangely reminds me of when my mums false leg fell off whilst crossing the road.

    of course I was I stitches but I got the impression that the fellow passers by didn’t see the funny side of it!

    1. Unless those doctors suddenly spring into action and actually try to do their job, this fella will have no choice in the matter of keeping his hands off other folks goats, because he ain’t got any !. On the other hand ( no pun intended ) if he becomes dexterous with his feet, we may yet see this goat rustler on here again. Once a tea leaf always a tea leaf.

      1. @stomper – he will have to lose some belly and do some yoga or something before he’ll be able to use his feet for much more than walking. As for doctors, they are probably waiting for the specialist in hand micro surgery to reattach all the arteries, veins, tendons, nerves, etc. – hahaha! He’d be better off just having someone duck tape a fork or machete to his wrist – depending on if he wants to live or commit suicide (if he pulls thru this vigilante justice).

    1. ***Gonna be Dutch Rudders for this guy from now on. This guy will be needing a hand out or two daily it to survive.

      Dutch Rudders…

      I like that!!

      I can just see the little feller now, going around the edge of my bathtub, with no destination in mind.

      Too bad he doesn’t have at least one arm left…

      He could scour my soap scum!!

      btw: where do you put his battery, when the poor bastard stops “ruddering”?

      1. @craving. Haha. That’s to baaaaad. I worked with some guy from Puerto Rico. He would always talk about how he would fuck sheep. Like it was a normal thing. Crazy shit man. @elma. Well that sounds like a fair punishment to me.

  6. That is brutal! Did that goat lay golden eggs or something? He looks like he was shoved into the prop of a light aircraft.

    Nice to see the crack Brazilian medical team leaping to the rescue, or maybe they’re Just very keen morticians.

  7. Shit, dude! You got fucked up! Points for flexibility, though. You have to be numb as all fuck to be able to jump up like that in spite of that kind of pain. I’m surprised he didn’t pass out from blood loss.

    1. ***Shit, dude! You got fucked up! Points for flexibility, though. You have to be numb as all fuck to be able to jump up like that in spite of that kind of pain. I?m surprised he didn?t pass out from blood loss.

      I share your point of view, now that we have an update…

      While it is not known for sure, if he was a drug trafficker, one would have to be “numbed as fuck,’ to still be alive after this attack. Either with the help of the doctors, the help of the drugs that he had in his possession or both. However, numbed or not, arms or no arms…

      This dude is one obstinate bad ass!!

      …I’m starting to become convinced, that this bastard could walk away, after downing a keg of embalming fluid!!

      Truly remarkable, imho!!

  8. The first version of the story is the correct one. The man’s NOT a drug dealer. This incident happened in the town of Pil?o Arcado (1876 Km/1165 miles from Rio de Janeiro).

    According to police, the victim is innocent. πŸ™

    http://g1.globo.com/bahia/noticia/2014/09/crueldade-diz-policia-sobre-homem-que-decepou-maos-de-suspeito-na-ba.html

    http://portalplantaopolicial.com.br/noticias/homem-que-ficou-sem-as-maos-e-foi-acusado-pelo-autor-de-furtar-bodes-para-policia-e-inocente

    1. ***He?ll never do the hand-jive, give a high-five, or give a fist-bump. He?ll never need another pair of gloves, worry about his fingernails, bitch slap anyone or jerk-off. What else?

      Christ Dragonet!!

      Please don’t put “jerk off” and “what else?” on the same line…

      …the last thing I need in my life right now, are suicidal thoughts!!

    1. ***I couldn?t imagine life after losing both wanking spanners?.

      Wanking spanners!!

      πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

      Christ, I’m getting old!!

      Sounds like something you’d hear on Star Trek..

      “Scotty, beam me up. It seems, that I am having problems with my wanking spanner.”

      “Should I beam down Dr. Uhura, to assist you with your wanking spanner Captain?”

      “What about Bones Scotty?”

      “Captain, I never knew you were a…”

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