Today’s edition of Best Gore Members Rock is brought to you by Best Gore member @MistressFangz, who turned to cutting after a “mistake” that cost her boyfriend of 2 years. In her own words:
First thing’s first; I honestly had no idea this website even existed until a couple of hours ago. I was browsing dark pictures when I stumbled upon this thing called “Anime Gore”. I found it enticing, yet repulsive, but I couldn’t get enough of it, (Not that it sexually arouses me. Because it doesn’t). I told my friend about it, and he recommended Best Gore. So that’s how I got here.
Now for the main subject. These pictures represent built up hatred mixed with heartache. (Excuse the mess, by the way. My life is pretty similar to that). My boyfriend and I of two years had just broken up because, well, I decided to make the worst mistake of my life and hang out with two guy friends whom I thought I could trust. I got drunk, and the next thing I know I’m in a car giving one of them a blow job. I was taken advantage of. I cheated. And my boyfriend found out through my Facebook messages.
I was devastated; I knew I was going to end up snapping, and I did. All of my self-loathing and agony exploded into a storm of mixed emotions I couldn’t escape from. I remember slicing myself open to “Snuff” by Slipknot. I know, stereotypical.
After cutting the first time, I attempted suicide by overdosing on Tylenol. I was sent to a rehabilitation center for eight days. After I got out, everything seemed to be fine. Until I seen that he had moved on. I cut again, and for the constant reminder of what I had done and what I had lost, I carved “HATE MYSELF” into my arm, and attempted suicide a second time. I had to go to the same rehabilitation center.
But since I’ve gotten out this time, I seem to be managing to cope a lot better. Kind of. Instead of cutting, I’ve resorted to smoking, snorting my Adderall, and singing.
I have been through complete and utter hell. But I know it could all be so much worse, as well. I’m here posting this because I want to reach out to other people who have been through similar situations and have felt near the same. Please know that you’re not alone. And since you’re on this website like I am, there’s obviously some sort of dark void that needs to be filled. I’m here if anyone ever needs to talk.
Thanks for taking the time to read this, Best Gore. And I have got to say, I highly admire the common sense grammar rules. It really does weed out the douchebags from the rest of the logical society here.
First thing’s first – Slipknot’s Snuff is sick. It gives me chills every single time I listen to it. Lyrics are incredible, and the part when the drums pause for the guitar to enhance the “You ran away, you’re all the same” bit, is out of this world.
Secondly, keep in mind that it takes two to tango, so trying to wash your hands off the responsibility in your involvement with the guys whom you blame for breaking your trust can end up being an invitation for the same thing to happen again.
Still, we wish you endurance and determination in getting over your self hatred and hopefully from this point on, it’s on to the better, brighter tomorrows.