Hold in there @justanotherguy. Many people go through how you are feeling in their life at some time. I know it is easy for me to say so but try and surround yourself with people that deserve your love and respect.
I love my family and friends but i have come to terms that i am more demonstrative and sentimental than most.
I would run to hospitals to see certain sick relatives all the time. I was in hospital with suspected typhoid in a quarantine ward dying :- doctors thought i was to die.
A certain relative didnt come see me because he didnt want to cancel a date he planned with a new girlfriend. He knew i was in quarantine for days but didnt come.admittedly, he didnt know i was dying but would have to be very stupid to not know quarantine is bad. He was a pussy whipped boyfriend then and is a henpecked husband now!
Some people are just idiots but you cant help loving them!