@masterplan I have experiences with different kinds of self harm. I’ve tried beating myself up as you already know, but also cutting, burning myself with a cigarette or biting myself. Beating myself up worked best for me because it’s the most cathartic way and you get instant pain but also some pain that lingers for a few days (good points for this are cheekbones, jaw and so on). Still it doesn’t leave any scars, so no one asks questions which is really convenient if you live with your family or something. But I have plans that I will realize as soon as I’m living on my own that will leave scars though. Biting myself was something I mainly did in middle school, but that was a little different because I didn’t even know that much about self harm at that time, it was just a natural reaction to frustration to me.
Nowadays I even like the thought of doing something that harms me in some way, which is why I am so comfortable with my unhealthy life choices. I smoke a lot even though I’ve got Asthma, I consume too much caffeine, I don’t eat enough and what I eat is mostly unhealthy and a few other things. That’s just my way.
I’m diagnosed with the Asperger’s Syndrome, which is some form of Autism, therefore I do a lot of things in a “special” manner, if you want to put it like that. That brings me to your question about why some people take painkillers: Not everyone’s goal is pain. There are so many different motivations for this. Everyone has their own reasons, their own backstories.
Now some thoughts about that “praise is harmful” thing. I don’t think this is the place where people go to seek help. This is a place where some dudes even masturbate to gore content, so the users most likely know that they will get praise by other users who like to watch them cut themselves. Best Gore isn’t that well known in the mainstream, one does not just stumble upon this site, so I thought the individuals here probably could have views on this topic that have some aspects in common with mine.
I hope this was useful to you. Since you seem to be willing to reflect on what I say, I wanted to give you some more details. That’s why I wrote so much. Anyway, have a nice day/night/whatever.