Ok,,, Here is one of My Pet-Peeves That Actually Happened Last Month.

So I Am At The Grocery Store, with A List of Items That My Wife Cathy, had asked me to pick-up NO Rush, but sometime this week. So i figured that there was no time, like the present time,as it truly was a nice & warm Sunny Monday Morning. And Hey since we were quite New To The Area i figured that i would go out, and hey,,, maybe even catch a last Skirt Wearing Babe, or Two, lol While I,m Out,,(Joke,,, NOT!) And if you are like 99% of most Middle Aged Men Out There Sent Grocery Shopping Your Mission Is In Quick, And Out Quick Like Your First Virgin On Her Prom Night. So You Gets Your shit,,, Then You Gets To The Cash,,,& You Gets Da-Fuck Outta There, Just On Time To Get Home,,, Smoke A Joint, And Go On B G , YEA??? πŸ˜‰ YEA! πŸ™‚

So I Quickly Started Dodging Carts, (Like A Black Newborn Spends His First 9 Mts. Dodging Coat-Hangers) In A Hurry To Get My Stuff And Make My Way Up To The Shortest Cash Register Line-up, That I Can See. And Then Once there, you notice that The Old Bag In Front Of You Just Won’t Shut-up, as she talks to the Old Bag Cashier Herself While Emptying Her Basket One Item at a time, & Checking Every Single Price on the Register before Proceeding to take-out another item for the Happy To Be Paid For Just Basically Doing “Fuck-All” Old-Bag Cashier Happily Chats Along,,,,FFFFFFack!!!

My skin began to Boil Hotter With Every “Slow As Fuck” Passing Second, while the Old Cunt Checks Her Purse With Every Item To See If She could Use, Or Combine One 25 cent Coupon, With Another. I Wanted to rip those Fucking Coupons that added-up together could not have surpassed,,,, maybe 2 bucks total if she was lucky, And Slam Down 10 Bucks On The Counter Instead, Saying “DONE” With The Fucking-Coupons Already For Fuck-Sakes Grandma.

Feeling Like I Am in a Total Rush, When I Honestly Have Fuck-All Better To Do Than Drive Back Home as Quickly as i can,,, Get Away From All The Ottawa “SHEEPLE” Roll me, & Smoke Me Another Spliff, in order to Forget About these Old Goats and there Fucking-Petunia,s. So When The Items are Finally Tallied-Up, She Puts her hand in her purse but does fuck-all for like A hole 2 Minutes,,, 2 Fucking Minutes While they keep-on talking, and talking,,, and talking! πŸ™

So what Did I Do,,, i started Shuffling my Shit Around On The Conveyor belt, and therefore having my stuff pile-up and bunch-up right at the Cash To Get Their Attention, and banged A Few Cans Of Wiskis Cat Food on the Conveyor, now doing-so loudly, but Gently, lol. Slamming,,, Them ever so “GENTLY” and then Slamming them back down, and Letting-Out a Huge Sigh! And Then,,, They Finally Got The Picture that i DO NOT,,,want to spend my whole Fucking Monday Morning, In A Grocery Store Listening to Old Ladies, and Again THERE FUCKING PETUNIA,s, And to Add Insult To Injury, (Finding-Out Later From My Wife Cathy), that Mondays Are Seniors Discount Days, and as a result i had to be there listening to 2 old ladies talk about Petunia,s or whatever those fucking flowers are called.

And what happens next made me Boil Over, as The Old Cunt starts shuffling into her purse looking for What i thought was surely her Wallet,,, She Pulls-Out A Fucking Blank-Cheque,,, Puts Her Barnacles On, and Starts Writing it up. HOLY-FUCK,,, I Totally Lost-It And i said, and Super-Loud,,, You Gotta Be Fucking Kidding Me??? I Have Spent the Better Part of 15 to 20 Minutes in line with only You, and Your 10 To 12 or so items In Front Of Me, and While SHE Was Scanning Your Items,,, you Could Have easily, and at the very least t Started Filling-Out The Grocery Stores Name,,, Today’s Date,,, And Sign The Damn Thing,,, Instead of Having A Damn Conference About Petunia’s,,, Like C,Mon Man.

So NOW,,, *NOW* They Both Look At Me Like (I,M In The Wrong, And Some Type Of Fucking Neanderthal,) or Something, When I Was Watching Other Cashiers Run Through A Slew of At Least 6 or 7 people Each Other Cash with Much, Much Fuller Carts at the same time that these 2 Old (Had To Have Been) fucking Feminists, And Some Real Cunty-Cunts with Fat Wrinkled-Asses, to Not Give 2 Fucks, Or Even Acknowledged that i was patiently waiting for the first 10 Full Minutes, before I Finally after much restraint I Blew, and Not A Load Either. And **DID I BLOW GUYS/GALS,,, LIKE HOLY-OLD-FUCK-MAN!** lol, lol. πŸ˜‰ Fuck, I Honestly Wanted To Hang Them Upside-Down By Their Old, and Super-Saggy Fried-Egg Tits, and Let The Crows Have At Em BOTH, Those Fuckers!!!

Visibly Shaken by My Angry Outburst,,, The 2 Old Bags *FINALLY* Shut Da-Fuck Up (unlike myself right now) lol, And Quickly Began To Move Their fucking Fat Asses. And All of A Sudden I Suddenly Noticed that something was out of the ordinary,,, and That was that The Whole Front Of The Entire fucking Store Became super Quiet, Just A Funeral Home,,,(But When It,s Closed!) like I Mean, You Could Honestly Hear That Wobbly Cart,s Wheel Across The Farthest Corner Of The Whole Entire Store, 1/2 mile away As some Poor Bastard Shopping For His Wife,s Tampons,,, or Simply Another Old-Cunt, Smelling Like “PISS” Picking-Up Her Monthly Supply Of Depends Undergarments. But Man, Let Me Tell Ya,,, it was that quiet!

And Don,t Get Me Started On Those Carts That Have A Wobbly Wheel,,, Cause I Want to Launch Those Fuckers Right Through The Stores Front Windows Whenever i Get One. Cause Every Time That I Do get One, and I,M Done With it, My BUZZ Is Gonzo! πŸ™ And This Is Why These Crippled Wobbling-Carts Bother Me So Very Much, Because They Always,,,And I Mean Always,, Completely Ruin My Entire Buzz, From The Joint That I Had To Smoke Beforehand In Order To Have The Courage To Venture-Out To That SHEEPLE-FILLED Grocery Store, Especially if it was to Happen on A Monday Morning Again and because i,m so fucking Buzzed-Out I Forget, That it,s Seniors Discount Day!

So My Wife Cathy Laughed Her Fucking Brains-Out, When She Got Home From Work, And I Told Her What Had Happened To Me At This New Grocery Store Near Our Newly Purchased Home Within The City Of Ottawa, on That Fine Morning. And She Laughed Much Harder, and Crying,, Especially Hard after Informing Me That Monday was A FUCKING SENIORS-DAY Especially Knowing How So Very Much Patience I Have For Petunia Talking-Type Fucking Retards! But after 5 minutes of Her Laughing Her Brains-Out I Started Laughing,,, And Could Not Stop Myself For Getting So Fucking Furious, at 2 little,,, well Short, & Fat to be Precise, lol, Old Ladies. πŸ˜‰