Reply To: Would Bestgore help you in real life?

Best Gore Forums Chill Out Zone Everything Else Would Bestgore help you in real life? Reply To: Would Bestgore help you in real life?

#173849
USVetDoc
Participant

I probably use BG in a different way than most. I was a medic during the first Gulf War. My field hospital took in over 8,000 patients, some in really bad shape. I was fairly young, around 25, and the thought of serving in a war was strangely exciting. I saw some really nasty stuff from burn victims, mangled limbs, a blown up face, amputations, to inventorying the bodies of dead Iraqi soldiers. At the time, none of it really bothered me. Years later I started to have problems sleeping at night due to nightmares, and vividly remembering every detail of what I had seen. I suffer very violent nightmares, and have actually hit my wife in my sleep a few times from flailing through the night. I even broke some of my toes by kicking the foot board of the bed. I finally sought help at the VA, and was given a cocktail of drugs that increased over the years. Unfortunately, no drug can stop the dreams, only help you deal with them. I’ve asked the VA numerous times to get into their exposure therapy program to hopefully lessen the affects of the visions I have. But, of course, the VA is of little help.

So…I have BG as a means to exposure therapy. It works somewhat to desensitize me from the constant, repetitive visions that I have. But, according to the VA, the issues only get worse over time, not better. I was never a believer in PTSD, and thought people who have it are weak. But as time goes on, more things trigger the nightmares. After 28 years, I relive every nasty thing I saw and in very vivid detail, as if it took place yesterday. It’s uncontrollable. There are times when I fear going to sleep, having the nightmares, and possibly hitting my wife again. The meds only numb you, and dosages are routinely increased because the symptoms only get worse. It’s a nasty, never ending cycle.

Thanks to BG, I at least have some way of dealing with my problems.