Reply To: Ive been drawn into your magnet tar pit trap

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#255247
Terry3xo
Participant

To be honest that is what my mom has said about us since day 1. I just dont feel like i would be accomplishing anything having random sex. I get the urge when I’m bored and lonely but my fantasys of sleeping with beautiful women to increase my self worth or even to satisfy urges . but I dont want anymore one night stands if I can help it because to me the feeling of lonliness just comes right back .
I know I have to seriously work on myself before finding a woman I can trust to give my love to and trust how she feels about me. Will I ever get that? I seriously dont know. But believe me when I say I knew better from the beginning and knew better to fall for her but I gave in and fell in to her tar pit trap. And its been just over a year since I met her . these emotions and chemicals in my brain have seriously wreaked havoc on my mental health. Im going to try and rebuild my life from here. Ever since we broke up the last time ive been telling myself run. Emotions are a very real thing . just like how cocaine leaves you wanting more and more that is how she has played on my brain and it is fucking miserable loving someone that much in these circumstances. I understand it’s all brain chemistry but it doesnt change the fact that I have to perceive it in my own reality and it must sound so dramatic to people who have a better chemistry than me and would have never fallen in love with someone like that. It has brought me to me knees like any powerful addiction. A truly broken heart is the most painful feeling i have ever felt in my existence as a human and I just want to get past it and am willing to do whatever it takes, medication , mental health counciling and even go back to the Pentecostal church i was saved at over a year ago. Once in grace does not always mean your in grace with God.