Absolutely Rev Dilf.
Maybe a twist on the old ‘fly in the soup’ gag could be employed.
“Excuse me waiter. I hate to be ‘that guy’, but there seems to be a mondo duke overlapping my soup bowl and wilting my salad. I checked its pulse and found that it hasn’t been properly cooked.”
Regarding your near envenomation at The Ritz by the Carleton Stink Snake, aka, Indian Cuisine Slab Snake, count yourself lucky. Many bite victims find that their ass rim has been impregnated with fertilized Slab Snake eggs.
While this is a serious affliction to humans, in California, giving birth to ass eggs is a sporting event enjoyed by the depraved and sanctioned by the LGBT.
Shitting only in Dom Perignon will prevent a bite from occurring. Also, the sparkling bubble action will leave a golden sheen on your nut sack.