As the system falters

Best Gore Forums Chill Out Zone Poetry As the system falters

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    • #67929
      Death overdue
      Participant

      As the system falters
      And order deteriorates
      With justice fallen
      The seed of war shall take

      Almighty reign
      Lay to waste
      The insignificant slain

      Alliance broken
      All in fear
      The final chapter
      Draws ever near

      Taking shelter
      The meek embrace
      As sons and daughters
      Die in vain

      Aftermath
      The great demise
      Seen through the ashes
      A serpent’s eyes

    • #68017
      FockeWulf
      Participant

      When I read this, I saw so much more than what the meanings reveal.
      The chosen words
      The style
      Your technique.
      I’d like to see what you can do with what outcome you would prefer in a contrast to this literature you have submitted.
      As a suggestion I would recommend listening to ‘The Great Demise’ by Soilwork, they go hand in hand like tomato and basil, they’re great on their own but together? Delicias!
      Very good!

      • #68019
        Death overdue
        Participant

        Just listened to the great divide by soilwork. Great fuckn riffs! I will definitely check out some more of their stuff. And thanks for the comment. Glad you enjoyed and saw past just the words. I always try to put deeper meanings in my lyrics. Never put them out publicly until the two on this site. My best work is still hidden from the world. But it humbles me to see that others can appreciate my work. Thanks dude. You should check out Kataklysm. The resurrected. Great song

    • #68025
      FockeWulf
      Participant

      Your welcome. Refreshing to read a non graphic gore related one too!
      It’s evident you can create so don’t refrain nor err on the side of caution.
      I think you would be surprised at what people would think is your best if they had enough works to go off.
      What you may think is your best may turn out not to be and vice versa
      You never know unless you try
      You may receive negative comments some idiotic and some maybe constructive. Don’t be shy!
      As for your kataklysm suggestion, well,
      You may need to take a second, perhaps closer, look at my picture, good Ser…

      • #68026
        Death overdue
        Participant

        Looks pretty damn metal to me sir. Not sure if it is from an album or not. Awesome looking none the less. My avatar is the late great Jeff Hanneman. My fucking hero. Brilliant writer. I’ll put one my ‘best’ lyrics on here. Maybe you’re right, one person’s treasure is often just another man’s garbage. Nice to see someone on here that seems to have intelligence and a deep way of thought. You are one of the few of us left. Ignorance breeds fools abound…

    • #68138
      FockeWulf
      Participant

      I think you would be happy to know that my pic is from a kataklysm album art work! Excellent chpoce in hanneman too, our heroes definitely help shape and Influence us.
      I find it interesting that our characteristic mould and personality is heavily influenced by external forces, parents, education, experiences etc
      These inner emotional shapes and thoughts that define you manifest in your poetry in a subconscious subtlety.
      I strive to learn everyday and having a diploma in journalism and creative writing certainly helps to appreciate the literacy!
      Don’t ever stop because I found that my absolute best works were made when I was in a very agitated or negative state of mind which coincidentally is also the hardest time to write.
      You have a gift good Ser

      • #68146
        Death overdue
        Participant

        Fuck. Yes. Road to devastation is one of my favorite songs by them. And yes, in our lowest times is when the best comes out of our hearts and souls. Thanks for the input man. Me having a severe mental illness makes my life very hard. Lifting my spirits is much appreciated. Rock the fuck on brother.

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