Joke a Day

Best Gore Forums Chill Out Zone Everything Else Joke a Day

Viewing 13 reply threads
  • Author
    Posts
    • #305314
      despy
      Participant

      I have a few jokes about unemployed people.. but none of them work!

    • #305396
      thedre
      Participant

      Ahhh sweetheart,,, that was too funny because it was so corny. It reminds me of my Ex Father-In-Law who use to tell me these jokes that he himself would start howling at after telling them. He would laugh so loud and hard being this big 250 lbs. Hungarian man. Andre,,, Ben Called For You,,, So i’d say who??? And he’d say BEN-DOVER AND KISS MY ASS, LOL It was so fucking stupid that it was funny. sO WHENEVER HE WOULD SAY THESE TYPE OF JOKES WE WOULD ALL START LAUGHING FOR REAL, AND I THINK IT’S BECAUSE HE WOULD CRY IN LAUGHTER EACH, AND EVERY TIME THAT HE WOULD SAY THEM, AND HIS LAUGH WAS ADDICTING, AND HARDY.And because he Had that Hungarian-Accent, it made-it sound that much funnier.

      Ooopsy,, i fucked-up above but too tired/lazy to change-it

    • #305555
      Jack
      Participant

      A bus carrying a bunch of catholic school girls crashed and everyone onboard perished. The girls are all waiting in line infront of the pearly gates as saint peter addresses the girls with a bowl of holy water at his side.

      Saint peter: Emily, step forward. Have you ever had any contact with a penis?

      Emily: well I once touched one with the tip of my finger.

      Saint peter: dip the tip of your finger in the holy water and you may pass. Kate, step forward. Have you ever had any contact with a penis?

      Kate: well I once stroked and fondled one with my hand.

      Saint peter: dip your whole hand in the holy water and you may pass. Asley, step forward…

      Then one of the girls comes running to the front of the line. Saint peter looks at her and says “Lisa, what’s the hurry?” Lisa replies “if I’m gonna have to gargle that holy water, I wanna do it before Jessica sticks her ass in it.”

    • #308792
      despy
      Participant

      what did the buffalo say to his son when he left for college?
      Bison

    • #308805
      illegalsmile55
      Participant

      What is the difference between girl spaghetti and boy spaghetti?
      Meatballs

    • #308830
      despy
      Participant

      any joke can be funny with the right delivery. except abortion jokes, because there is no delivery

    • #309063
      Lord Wankdust
      Participant

      Why did the Irish Abortion Clinic have to close?

      They lost the ferret.

    • #309076
      illegalsmile55
      Participant

      Why haven’t they found a cure for AIDS?

      They haven’t found a way to get the lab rats to butt fuck each other. 🙂

    • #309082
      despy
      Participant

      what did Cinderella do when she arrived at the ball?
      she gagged.

    • #310018
      Lord Wankdust
      Participant

      I phoned up an old local prostitute who was still offering her curvy services during lockdown. She texted me back and arrived at my door half an hour later. I kept my mask on and invited her in. She spoke…

      “You don’t need to keep the mask on. It’s okay. I’ve had Covid-19, I’m fine now and I am also immune.”

      I looked at her and explained. “Yeah but I’m keeping the mask on cos the last time you were here your minge was really stinky.”

      • #310085
        illegalsmile55
        Participant

        gone fishing yet?

        • #310099
          Lord Wankdust
          Participant

          Yes I have. I got out about three weeks back on my favourite loch. Couple of nice three pound trout lie in fillets in my freezer. My fave loch’s keeper is an elderly man (amazing wealth of knowledge) who was going to have to go home (“self isolate”) for a month. He left his deputy who can only manage the loch for five days (no evenings or weekends). I’ll get back out next week. I’ll see if I can post some photos.
          The trout were taking Yellow Dancers. I think they’ll be moving onto intermediate lines and sunken lures soon. White Cats, Yellow Cats and Black Cats – it’s Perch and Trout-fry bashing time for big trout and I have the perfect flies to tempt them.
          I hope you are doin’ good. You getting any fishing done? I read that you were still getting some work, glad to hear that. Stay cool as ever my Maine Friend!

        • #310746
          illegalsmile55
          Participant

          I’m heading out to the local pond this morning, I heard the brookies were biting. I can taste them already! Some steamed asparagus and a salad to go with it…yummmm I may be getting ahead of myself…lol. I should go to work, but I’m gonna play hookie. It’s beautiful out and I need some joy in my life right now. Fishing never fails to do that for me…even if I catch nothing (but a buzz).
          Ooops…sorry to flirt with you about smoking pot again…I cant help myself!! Yes, I know that makes no sense. 😛

        • #310799
          Lord Wankdust
          Participant

          Flirt about smoking pot all you like. Maybe one day we’ll find a way for you to send me a bud or two! Sweet memories! I’d love to roll a fat one right now! Good luck with the Brookies. They are different from Brownies and rare to find in Scotland.. but… I used to hike up to Lochan an Eireannaich (Gaelic “little loch of the Irishmen”)near Aberfoyle with my late brother to fish for Brookies. At the end of the 18th Century it was stocked with American Brook Trout by the local landowner. Quite a hike to get there and only one small stream flows into it but it is enough for them to spawn. A trickle dribbles out. Still holds a head of Brookies to this day.

          I took this photo on the way up there about 8 years back. There’s a ghost at Rob Roy’s Putting Stone..

          Lochan Eireannaich

          Anyway- on with today’s joke-du-jour….

          What is blue and doesn’t fit?

          A dead epileptic.

        • #310822
          Lord Wankdust
          Participant

          Flirt about smoking pot all you like. Maybe one day we’ll find a way for you to send me a bud or two! Sweet memories! I’d love to roll a fat one right now! Good luck with the Brookies. They are different from Brownies and rare to find in Scotland.. but… I used to hike up to Lochan an Eireannaich (Gaelic “little loch of the Irishmen”)near Aberfoyle with my late brother to fish for Brookies. At the end of the 18th Century it was stocked with American Brook Trout by the local landowner. Quite a hike to get there and only one small stream flows into it but it is enough for them to spawn. A trickle dribbles out. Still holds a head of Brookies to this day.

          I took this photo on the way up there about 8 years back. There’s a ghost at Rob Roy’s Putting Stone..

          https://ibb.co/gvCVm3H

          Lochan Eireannaich

          Anyway- on with today’s joke-du-jour….

          What is blue and doesn’t fit?

          A dead epileptic.

    • #310792
      despy
      Participant

      how does Moses make coffee?
      Hebrews it

    • #310894
      Pump Kin
      Participant

      The best day of my life was when I found my dad’s porn, in the back of the attic.
      The worst day of my life was when I found my mom’s porn……in the back of that video store.

    • #310948
      Pump Kin
      Participant

      You don’t know ANYTHING about pain, until you’ve watched your own baby drown in the tub.
      And you definitely don’t know ANYTHING about how to give a baby a bath.

    • #315272
      despy
      Participant

      what did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?

      Supplies!

Viewing 13 reply threads
  • You must be logged in to reply to this topic.