My Crush.

This topic contains 49 replies, has 12 voices, and was last updated by  12 year old edgelord 5 months, 1 week ago.

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  • #115994

    12 year old edgelord
    Participant
    Goints: 241

    I have elaborated on him in prior, but the details were half-baked and lacked effort and appeal.
    Now I have returned with a revamped edition of my crush: Evan.
    Evan and I had Language Arts and Mathematics together. He is adorable.Evan #1
    His height is 170.1cm (5’7″) and his weight is 63.5kg (140lbs).Evan cute
    He is a very handsome football player. He plays defensively for the local football club. He has a dizygotic twin brother who is shockingly average-looking for someone who is Evan’s brother.
    Evan’s date of birth is 23 November. His astrological zodiac sign is Sagittarius and his Chinese zodiac sign is Horse.
    Handsome Evan
    Evan’s visuals are no ploy.
    Devoid of him, emptiness conquers me.
    He is absolutely majestic.
    I know his address and his phone number. <3
    I have been enamored with Evan since October. It has been over 6 months now.

  • #115995

    12 year old edgelord
    Participant
    Goints: 241

    Handsome Evan

    Evan


    Evan’s appearance.

  • #115996

    12 year old edgelord
    Participant
    Goints: 241

    Everyone else is too ugly. They contaminate the beautiful picture of Evan.

  • #115997

    Road Pavement
    Participant
    Goints: 5,587

    Why don’t Even go fuck his sister like he always does.

    • #116007

      12 year old edgelord
      Participant
      Goints: 241

      He does not have a sister. He has a twin brother.
      He should fuck his twin brother like he always does**.

  • #116019

    [] ℂ K А Л
    Participant
    Goints: 1,011

    So does he know you Love him? Have you vocalized it to him? Did you snoop at his paperwork to get his exact height and weight?

    Ooo! His birthday is 11/23.

    • #116020

      lady-lexis
      Participant
      Goints: 1,172

      I think this is more of a love that dare not speak its name. At least not in earshot of law enforcement anyway.

      @1purple8

    • #116025

      12 year old edgelord
      Participant
      Goints: 241

      He may have an idea because I behave eccentrically around him. I learned his height and weight since as a football player, they are measured regularly and posted online (imperial with metric conversions).

      • #116029

        Danaconda
        Participant
        Goints: 2,672

        Maybe sliding on the floor between his legs with a tape measure gave him a clue.

      • #116030

        12 year old edgelord
        Participant
        Goints: 241

        That size of his is unimpressive. He is 3 or 4 inches erect.

      • #116348

        Lord Wankdust
        Participant
        Goints: 1,648

        Evan packs a Hench* revolver.

        *From the murder weapon described in Raymond Chandler’s “The High Window”. “a belly gun, with practically no barrel.”

  • #116023

    Mr Spock
    Participant
    Goints: 945

    @evan Fanatic,
    So basically you fancy a effeminate-looking man who is smaller than average, simply because of his looks and the fact he plays football defensively (i.e. he is not one of those sexy strikers)?
    Someone who has not lived in the real world and made his own money (presumably he is only about 17 at most), and most likely lives with his mom.

    Ok, if you like him, you like him. Why not go up to him at breaktime and ask if you can see a movie together sometime, or maybe go for coffee together? If he likes you back, he will say yes. If he says no, well who gives a shit? Just wish him a happy life and move on.

  • #116116

    Road Pavement
    Participant
    Goints: 5,587

    THE YOUNG ONES – Intro

    Does this remind you of your school days.

  • #116117

    Road Pavement
    Participant
    Goints: 5,587

    Kind think a predatory stalker is after these kids

  • #116279

    12 year old edgelord
    Participant
    Goints: 241

    I should delete this, because what if Evan finds it? Guaranteed restraining order. But fuck it, he deserves to be sexually demeaned for being handsome albeit having a shitty personality. He does not deserve to be handsome.

    • #116357

      Lord Wankdust
      Participant
      Goints: 1,648

      Being gifted in the handsome department is both a blessing and a curse. Only yesterday I walked up the High Street of the small town near me. I was wearing a yellow-green checked Le Chameau, Tartan Tie and elegantly fitted Black Harrington jacket. I had showered, shaved and shat before I left the house.
      In each shop I went into, the air turned as fishy as the shithouse on a Portland Trawler. The mere sight of me was sliming up every woman’s clunge instantly. It was slippery gusset Saturday. Unfortunately my shyness meant I just went home on my own and ate my dinner in front of the TV on my own. Then went to bed and got up today on my own.
      At least Evan has all the rimming, fisting and bumming to take the edge of the curse of handsomeness.

  • #116326

    Road Pavement
    Participant
    Goints: 5,587

    Is this an +18 site? Or are we going to let 14 year old girls run amuck like a cat in heat

  • #116399

    12 year old edgelord
    Participant
    Goints: 241

    I will delete this post eventually. I do not want my first crush filing a restraining order since he has been threatening me with one ‘-‘. Evan is simply a phase.
    He really would not eventuate to anything long-term.

    • #116400

      12 year old edgelord
      Participant
      Goints: 241

      But sometimes I say “fuck it” because Evan really does deserve to suffer. I received a hard slap from him once. Haha, vengeance. >:D

  • #116004

    illegalsmile55
    Participant
    Goints: 6,265

    Evan has a purty mouth. I bet he can make a perfect “O” with it.

  • #116011

    Danaconda
    Participant
    Goints: 2,672

    Evan is a fuck tube with an O-ring at each end.

  • #116021

    thedre
    Participant
    Goints: 13,150
    VIP – Server Donor

    @illegalsmile55

    Looks Like Me Just Found Us Evan All Grown-Up

    Lol, lol, Now ain’t he got himself purrrdy-Lips???
    Yea,,, I Think we got owselves a sowww!
    Now Squeel Like Pig,,, C’Mon Boy,,, ets Here Ya Squeel

  • #116012

    12 year old edgelord
    Participant
    Goints: 241

    Evan’s penis size is 3 inches erect.
    He is small. To compensate, he has a tight anus and a fluffy posterior, toned from all the defensive football he plays.

  • #116024

    12 year old edgelord
    Participant
    Goints: 241

    That is not very nice… lol… Evan would presumably commit suicide because of me. It is doubtful he would live that long.

  • #116034

    illegalsmile55
    Participant
    Goints: 6,265

    SOOOIE! WOOOOOOO!!!

  • #116333

    itsplaster
    Participant
    Goints: 3,047
    VIP – Server Donor

    @thedre Beatty went on to be a celebrated actor but it’s always hard to shake that image. Still, if you can do that scene, you can pretty much do anything.

  • #116190

    12 year old edgelord
    Participant
    Goints: 241

    Great advice. To relieve you, Evan is temporary.

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