One Out of Four Can't Poop

Best Gore Forums Fapping Corner Naked Girls One Out of Four Can't Poop

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    • #60816
      Acneska
      Participant

      One Out of Four Cant Poop

    • #60901
      illegalsmile55
      Participant

      Here’s one for all the fecal lovers out there…you sick, disgusting freakshows…

    • #60904
      iCthulhu
      Participant

      sick ew

    • #60996
      Goryhole
      Participant

      Chocolate asscream anyone?

    • #61434
      REDRUM
      Participant

      *Bratty girl comebacks* “I shit lengthier shits that are longer than your dick!”

    • #61589
      tas tiger
      Participant

      Right on the fucking carpet too.

      • #61617
        fukitol
        Participant

        Just after this picture was taken the photographer rolled up a newspaper and smacked them all on the nose!

    • #61590
      tas tiger
      Participant

      I think number 4 absolutely sprayed diarrhea everywhere just after the photo was taken, well I hope she did!

    • #61609
      Harumph
      Participant

      This must be what they are referring to when they mention synching up their shitsies. There is always one, isn’t there ladies? smh

    • #62799
      FriendlyVenomous
      Participant

      How is that third one still not broken off?!

    • #62848
      DarkSea
      Participant

      jesus… not on the carpet please

    • #62867
      Demented808
      Participant

      You know the third one clogged some toilets in her life time.

    • #62868
      Demented808
      Participant

      I’ve sunk your battle shit!

    • #109592
      Road Pavement
      Participant

      Those girls are probably pregnant with their 15th kid by now

    • #109601
      Jimmy
      Participant

      I will never look at tootsie rolls the same again. Ewwwww

    • #109694
      tworotten4u
      Participant

      I thought girls don’t poop or fart.

    • #109947
      Terry3xo
      Participant

      @acneska FAKE, can’t believe you guys bought this.. Girls don’t poop, IDIOTS

    • #109948
      Mr Spock
      Participant

      This is photoshopped obviously. Or they are using prosthetic turds (toys) tied to their anuses.
      No, I think it’s just photoshopped.

      • #110689
        illegalsmile55
        Participant

        @mrspock
        Just keep telling yourself that..I bet one of these gals would fart in front of you!

    • #110680
      Lord Wankdust
      Participant

      The long brownie eats a LOT of fibre. The one on the right obviously has that lovely gift of being able to bob the turtlehead out and then back in through her sphincter like a yo-yo. She’s just drawn it in back in for a moment.
      It is a very cool trick, I once knew a girl who could do that. It sounds disgusting but it was strangely compelling to watch. She was from England, was a Vegetarian and delivered me what was probably the greatest blowjob of my life (she wasn’t doing the “pooh-trick” at the same time!). I shall think of her and her “pooh-trick” tonight.

      Memories… like the corners of my mind.

      • #110687
        illegalsmile55
        Participant

        I would love to know how that conversation started.
        “Hey babe, did you know I can yo-yo my turds? Want to see?”
        Doing the poop trick while giving a blow job would be difficult, if not impossible. What am I saying…just doing the poop trick must take a while to master. I’m impressed @lord-wankdust!

        • #110776
          Lord Wankdust
          Participant

          @illegalsmile55 Okay…. seeing you asked and it is you. I shall explain how that conversation went.

          It was while I was at University in Northern Ireland back in the 1980’s. I was going out with a lovely English girl from Oxfordshire (the one whose family lived in a Grade 2 listed building in a small village deep in the Cotswolds). She was very cute (as if unsalted English Butter wouldn’t melt in her armpit). She had a real English Rose complexion and was as dirty as fuck.
          She also had a bit of an eating disorder as was at times obsessed with keeping fit. We used to go out running along the seafront in the seaside town near where the University campus was.

          Here

          Anyway, as sometimes happens after you’ve had a pint or two of Guinness the night before, a robust morning shag, a strong coffee and then a three mile run… your bowels sometimes seem to want to move. I announced that we needed to sprint the last half mile as Mr Brown was at the window... (the pace car was creeping out in front of the race… etc. etc.) She turned to me and told me to “tuck it back in.” I was mystified and explained that the cork was very nearly out of the bottle… and I sprinted off to the flat (American = apartment, condo, etc). I had finished when she got back and was getting ready for a shower when she came into the bathroom… “can you not hold your pooh in?” she asked laughing. I explained I could cork-the-bottle as well as anyone… but sometimes you just gotta drop the kids off at the pool….
          She laughed and said “Watch this…” and proceeded to sit on the toilet facing the cistern (ie. facing backwards… ie. wrong way round). She eased out about an inch then drew it back in. Then again and back in, then an inch or two more and then back in. I was anxious to get into the shower but was strangely fascinated by this incredible and really quite charming performance. At one point she slid the thing out about six inches and drew the lot back up again like some kind of Sci-Fi creature eating a turd. Then she carefully turned around on the toilet pan and proceeded to have a dump while I had a shower.
          We split up about a year later. I often think of her and wonder what happened to her.

        • #110787
          illegalsmile55
          Participant

          @lord-wankdust

          I feel special. πŸ˜‰ to think you took time out of your day to attend to my inquiring mind. Unfortunately, the answer has raised many more questions. The main question being, was it enjoyable, or just a moment where you thought, don’t see this everyday? We all have little things that are unique. I can wiggle my nose, just like on Bewitched. If you haven’t seen it, https://youtu.be/zACUtVjcLBc
          I have given away a secret…I’ve never met anyone who could do it.

        • #110801
          Lord Wankdust
          Participant

          I suppose it was that kind of “I’ve never seen anything like this in my life before…” moments. She introduced me to Lasagne, Garlic Bread, Rissotto and even Indian Food. I suppose her Yo-yo shitting trick was another look at the exotic side of life. And please remember, I came from a very working class, council house (American = housing project) life in a rainy West of Scotland town from a period of… well let’s just say the late Sixties and early Seventies were a bit Black, White and mostly Grey. The only colour was on TV. Very much Bewitched, The Champions, Star Trek, The Virginian, The Monkees, Banana Splitz etc. The rest of Scotland was still in Black and White and so was our TV until about 73… and then there was a magic revelation… all of those US Series were in incredible colour!.

          That picture of you with the wee dog… of course I knew you could twitch your nose like Elizabeth Montgomery. Wasn’t she really sumthin’?

          Elizabeth Montgomery

        • #110807
          illegalsmile55
          Participant

          Lasagna, huh. I’m a Bohemian, but I’m positive I would not feel comfy allowing someone to watch me poop, let alone use it as a human poo yo-yo. A smart phone back then would’ve been the shit, a picture is worth a few hundred words.

          Yeah, I agree, she was hot.

        • #110849
          Lord Wankdust
          Participant

          @illegalsmile55 “Lasagne – huh”

          I don’t think Amerika was subjected to rationing during WW2. But it casts a loooong shadow. It really shrinks the horizons when it comes to cooking. Stir Post-War abject wage-slave poverty into the already semi-empty dinner pot and there really isn’t really anything. Here in Scotland WW2 rationing did not end until 1954 (though its impact particularly on Scottish Native Cheese Production was disastrous and lasted until the late 1980’s when guys like Humphrey Errington kicked out the Jamms with Lanark Blue and more recently his farm’s utterly delicious Dunsyre Blue). So pardon me if my birth, in the poverty-ridden decade after WW2 rationing stopped, meant my palate had been starved of anything exotic until the 1980’s. When I was little my mum used to buy herself a tomato occasionally as a treat and often didn’t have much dinner. Stewed offal or mince was the mainstay of our diet, little in the way of veg beyond the odd carrot. Mashed potatoes with everything.
          Things had eased off a little as the 1980’s started but Thatcher was forcing the celebration corks back into the bottle… So my mind-expanding new experiences were perhaps yo Amerikans like yourself looking across from a land of plenty perspective, a bit… “Lasagne – huh” …. over on the grey, hungry side of the pond it really was “Lasagne – wow!”.
          Seriously, I never got to taste much in the way of flavoured food until I left home and met students at University in my early twenties (I worked full-time & saved for five years after I left school in order to fund my escape).
          So watching a lovely pale skinned English Young Woman doing the Shit yo-yoing trick an hour after I had fucked her was simply another fascinating turn in the road in my New Exciting World which had begun with a boat across a midnight sea to a country of Army Patrols on the streets, terrorists like the IRA and the UVF, bombings, kneecappings, drive-by shootings, Irish Whiskey (they added Cloves and Lemon!), Lasagne, Indian Curries, Garlic Bread and who knew what next

          I do agree though. Some kind of smart phone or small video camera would have been the fucking business right then. I hadn’t replayed it in my mind for many years. However, for the last few days I have done little else but think of the whole yo-yo shitting scene. It is now like a loop I cannot erase. I have found myself laughing uncontrollably in classes at points and one of the senior pupils asked me if she could “have some of what I’d been taking…“. That just made it worserer. In the staff room someone remarked that one of the Science Teachers was off work with her IBS and I sprayed my mouthful of my Passion Fruit yoghurt across the room. Some things do cast a looong dark-brown shadow.
          How on Earth do you do that nose twitch? Your video is amazing. Can you do it for longer… you only managed a second or two (brilliantly though) in the clip.

        • #110870
          illegalsmile55
          Participant

          @lord-wankdust

          Now I feel like an ass, but that’s about par for me. πŸ™‚
          I make a pretty mean lasagna.
          You’re not the only one who’s been thinking about the magic poo trick. I’ve been wondering if she showed every guy she was with? Or just the special ones? Many questions..

          That’s not me wiggling, that’s exactly what mine looks like….I know, not quite as climactic as poo-poo yo-yo, but its all I have.

          Back in the kitchen for me.. I’m making granola…and its awesome.

        • #110876
          Lord Wankdust
          Participant

          @illegalsmile55 Special?

          Even thirty -odd years on… having not really thought about it for many years… I’d still kinda like to hope that maybe I was a special one. That maybe she didn’t show it to every guy she met. But I would just be kidding myself.

          Here I am now in a damp Scottish Glen. Nearly halfway into my 50’s. Alone in the West Wing of my hovel and thinking back over the years. Munching Dunsyre Blue Cheese on Scottish Oatcakes and sipping an Islay Single Malt as I watch the last log of the night settle in the fireplace. And I’m actually seriously trying to imagine that over three decades ago I was “special” enough that she would never show another guy her shitting yo-yo trick. Who knows… after me perhaps on a first date, the yo-yoing was merely the appetiser which would half an hour later descend into Blumpkins, Anal Sex, a Cleveland Steamer and a Chipping-Norton Hot-Pocket.

          I would be kidding myself of course! Though we were very sweet on each other when we first met and had a real love for one another. The turd yo-yoing thing was done in a very sweet and kind of endearing way. Which I now (on reflection) find utterly weird and slightly fetishistic (when at the time I think she was seriously trying to show me her skills at keeping in a shit when out running).

          I shall now go to bed and read some Scottish Poetry until the darkness draws me into the deep sea of sleep and there I’ll flounder, helplessly storm-tossed on an ocean of wet dreams.

        • #110878
          illegalsmile55
          Participant

          @lord-wankdust
          Sweet dreams buddy. Ride that storm out…
          Blue cheese sounds heavenly.

        • #110903
          Lord Wankdust
          Participant

          The ocean goes on forever and is rarely easy. Dance by the light of the boats that you burn.

          Excellent cheese is always good. In January I keep a good supply of Northern Isles Oatcakes to hand.

          cheese

          I had laid in an emergency supply as Up Helly Aa tends to soak supplies up.

        • #110915
          illegalsmile55
          Participant

          @lord-wankdust

          I went to bed thinking of blue cheese and turtle heads. What a combination.
          I continued thinking of blue cheese at work today, but not yo-yoing. As soon as I could get off that island (not metaphorically), I drove straight to the store to pick up the makings for a chopped salad with bacon and blue cheese. I bought some buttermilk blue, it was delicious. I’m satiated. I love good food. I very rarely eat out, I’m usually disappointed, and I think of all the yummy stuff I could’ve bought at the grocery for the price of one dinner. I don’t even buy pizza take out, mine is better! What are you eating tonight?

        • #110927
          Lord Wankdust
          Participant

          @illegalsmile55

          Tonight I ate a bowl of beef casserole (made with Passatta, half a bottle of cheapish Italian Tempranillo, lots of carrots, plenty of Parsnips and Shallots and many chunks of local Aberdeen Angus Beef). I’d slow, slow cooked it in my oven last Saturday for about 6 hours with a good pounding of Paprika and Smoked Paprika seasoned into the meat beforehand. I’d eaten some on Saturday there and fridged the rest. Tonight I ate it with 2 home-made, slow-fried potato cakes laced with Dolcelatta (from a bulk stock I keep in the freezer). The casserole had lain chilling and binding together in the fridge until today, when I ladled myself a large serving out and froze the rest.
          My son, the young Lord Wankdust was off seeing his exiled mother the last few days so I dined heartily with a big glass of Claret, alone in the chilly West Wing, listening to some vintage Fairport (Unhalfbricking) and afterwards watched a weird film called Hallam Foe.
          I have not attempted yo-yo turtleheading at all, despite it being at the forefront of my thoughts.
          It’s a hard life.

        • #110973
          illegalsmile55
          Participant

          @lord-wankdust

          Oh my, that was the best food foreplay I’ve had in ages. It sounds positively scrumptious, I’m totally impressed. Awesome tunes and yummy food…heaven. I adore your thoughtful comments, as I read them I can picture it happening. I can see you in your well worn leather chair, glass in your hand, the wind howling outside….. Sometimes, I see what your describing, and its a slightly disturbing….but still, here I am, hoping for another delightful tale.

        • #110874

          Your prose is mesmerising @lord-wankdust and @illegalsmile55 I also loved Samantha and no I don’t believe twitching your nose is your only party trick!

      • #110691
        thedre
        Participant

        lol, @lordwankdust that is too funny dude, the turtle part that is, cause that epic blowjob she gave is no laughing matter, but a serious crooked, and twisted faced type of serious business, lol. Maybe the one on the ends love to eat too much cheese, and if she turned around, she would most probably have blown-out veins in her forehead.

    • #110682

      When asscream, you scream, we all scream for asscream!

    • #110685

      The first three are Sphincterpiston users… The latter is the holdout.. As we can see

    • #110690
      thedre
      Participant

      Fuck @acneska you are Such a Good and funny Girl, as you’re Always keeping us in mind, all the while making sure to keep us well entertained, by posting these Shit-Storms for us all to enjoy!;)

    • #60906
      illegalsmile55
      Participant

      Apparently the mud chute on the far right has stage fright.

    • #61000
      Aegrescit medendo
      Participant

      I feel like Goldilocks, I have to try them all but I think two of them are just right.

    • #110681
      Lord Wankdust
      Participant

      @illegalsmile55

      The one on the right obviously has that lovely gift of being able to ease the turtlehead out and then draw it back up through her sphincter like a yo-yo. She’s just been photographed at the wrong moment.

    • #62939
      Demented808
      Participant

      No problem. I made myself laugh off that SHIT.

    • #110810
      illegalsmile55
      Participant

      The first queef is the funniest step. πŸ˜›

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