Taking Prozac and going emotionally numb

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    • #80174
      itsplaster
      Participant

      So, I went to my doctor and said basically that I was really sad and life was blue and I was pretty sure it was the long sunless winter. I was thinking he might give me a prescription for sun lamps (tanning beds, whatever, but the kind you stand up in) and my insurance would pay for it. Because I have very cool insurance, I must say. They pay for alternatives to drugs. Smart! But, no, he prescribes 20mg Prozac.

      Okay 2 weeks in, nothing. Then shortly, I just get filled with rage and can’t be still – like I want to crawl out of my own skin. I destroyed my laptop a little over a week ago after fighting with my mom. I’ve had that laptop like 4 years and never so much as dropped it and I destroyed it – broke the screen; it’s shattered and just has this design that looks like abstract art on it. I guess the hard drive is okay, or not? So the rage would be a CON.

      On the other hand, once I hit a month, I suddenly don’t give a fuck. People on here I argued with – meh, you can’t piss me off. I’m like immune to it. I’ll argue like twice and then say “well whatever, fuck it” and go do something else. It’s weird, even undergroundweller who I hate, I guess (I don’t even know; too much effort to decide), couldn’t piss me off right now. Maybe for like a little bit but then I just tune out and I don’t care. That’s extremely relaxing. I don’t check to see if someone replied or anything. Done. That’s a PRO

      Unfortunately, I feel nothing all the time. I’m numb. No anger, no excitement, no crying, nothing. Just you know, do the day like a machine. And that’s not relief from feeling sad. It just turned sad off. But it turned off everything damn thing else. Waiting in line doesn’t bother me. I could wait all day – whatever. Traffic – fuck it, let’s stay jammed. I find $100 on the ground – oh cool, whatever. That’s the kind of numb I mean.

      I think Prozac put my fire out. I don’t even check my email or notifications here or other sites. I just don’t care. I can’t decide if it’s worth it. I don’t feel sad and I also don’t give a shit about arguing and shit and that’s great. But yeah, nothing is particularly enjoyable either. I don’t know if I want to quit taking it or not. You can comment your thoughts or you know, don’t. I was just putting it out there. Maybe someone else has experience with this drug.

    • #80177
      Alien
      Participant

      Iv never had the drug but I have had the feeling before. It’s shit unless you plan on becoming a serial killer really. I would stop taking it im sure you will be happier anyways it has been a while since the initial depression so maybe it’s over already and even then isn’t summer heading you way over there I’m sure the sun will be there soon. Anyways hope you figure it out.

    • #80182
      itsplaster
      Participant

      @behindthewalls Thanks Karma. Serial killer, lol. But yeah, I am pretty numb to anything. Currently, my deck and yard are just piles on snow but yeah, it should melt off within 2 weeks, I hope. Temp just isn’t getting high enough to melt 2 feet of snow. I think that will help alot and yes, sun is coming! Thanks again.

    • #80192
      Alien
      Participant

      Np it’s funny we are in opposite situations the heat here is just unbearable after a long summer can’t wait for winter

    • #80225
      JustJustine
      Participant

      I’ve taken quite a few different kinds of antidepressants over the years including Prozac. I found it numbed me too, I didn’t feel anything just indifferent and detached.
      It normally takes around 6 weeks to get settled into your system. So if you don’t think it is working for you, I would return to your doctor as there are a load of different types of antidepressants out there you could try. Or suggest that he prescribe you the sunbeds you mentioned.

      • #80435
        itsplaster
        Participant

        JustJustine – Yeah, this stuff has definitely made me a bit comatose. I will discuss with him Friday at my appointment. Thank you for the input.

    • #80270
      Empty soul
      Participant

      @itsplaster

      As I am quite drunk at the moment the ordering of my points might not make much sense, in which case I apologise in advance.

      Now on towards my rambling arguments,

      The main cause of drug overdose related deaths is due to the addict going clean for a while and then getting back into it at the exact same level they left. The reason being that our organs by evolutionary design act as inhibitors, steadily reducing the effect of foreign/toxic substances. This is why when one foregoes those substances for a while the effectiveness of our natural biological inhibitors reduces as well because the human body maximises/reduces effort based upon importance of need and therefore a sudden large dose overwhelms our body’s ability to cope which results in overdose and death.

      How the fuck does this relate to your original post?. Well, because anti-depressants such as Prozac are externally administered substances and therefore undergo the exact same process. In other words, the Prozac you are taking will become less effective overtime. This means that larger dosages will be advised by your doctor as a result of the downgrade and these increased dosages will come with more and more side-effects as well due to the higher toxicity levels.

      Personally I have been through it all. As a long time booze and drug hound I have found time and time again that one needs to increase their substance abuse otherwise it ceases to have the desired effect. This of course brings about a larger financial hit that eventually becomes unsustainable so one tends to first cut back on luxuries, then clothes, then personal grooming(haircuts etc) then food until eventually one exists merely for the substance.

      To conclude then mind altering substances(legal or otherwise) effectively act as adhesive bandages in the short term only and that is why they fail to address the lack of long term viability.

      The reason why we need that β€œextra help” though is because modern life is not very human at all. You see, we human beings are social creatures by design and tribal as well and that is why we yearn for and seek companionship, friendship and also understanding and acceptance from our selected social tribes.

      That one’s worth can be reduced to mere numbers on a spreadsheet is one of the most dehumanising aspects of our modern times, it is no wonder then that most of us are in the middle of an existential crises.

      • #80436
        itsplaster
        Participant

        @Empty-soul Your rambling is appreciated. I do see your point about the threshold effect – you need more and more mg’s. I think I just need to stop taking it and just wait for spring. It’s almost here. Granted my yard is just snow right now but hopefully it melts soon. I need to walk outside and get sunshine. I liked the comment though. Interesting points as usual.

    • #80456

      “The only prescription I use is green.
      Though I think I may need some Prozac.
      Prozac sounds like it is terrible.
      So I may stay away from it.
      Though I’m always self medicating.
      I know that I may be bipolar.
      Though I haven’t seen a doctor yet.
      These extreme highs and extreme lows.
      All my emotions are in extremes.
      When I’m doing something that I like.
      I like it so much it gets me high.
      And I know that I’m coming down.
      Could be all of the caffeine I drink.
      I love when people drink my coffee.
      And it barely even affects me.
      I guess I’m saying I feel you.
      Even though we’re total opposites.
      You’re feeling numb and I feel too much.
      Sometimes I don’t know how I do it.
      I wouldn’t change it for the world.
      And recommend marijuana.
      Nothing on Earth works better than that.
      I’m sure it’ll go good with Prozac.
      Friend I am sorry you feel so down.
      I’m always running from depression.
      With my alcohol weed and caffeine.
      And they have always helped me feel good.
      Try not to sit and feel so down.
      It seems that all adults feel like that.
      I guarantee it ain’t only you.
      Otherwise there wouldn’t be bars right?
      Try to look and feel you got it made.”
      πŸ˜‰

    • #80457

      *”And I recommend marijuana.”
      πŸ™‚

      • #80461
        Alien
        Participant

        Second

      • #80555
        itsplaster
        Participant

        @irondiketyson Thank you for the post. I do feel better now than when I posted that. Maybe it’s leveling out. I still feel kinda numb. I told myself, I’d give it 8 weeks and if I don’t feel better, I’ll quit taking it.
        Unfortunately, I cannot tolerate weed, lol. It makes me feel awful. I get major anxiety. That does suck but I guess my brain just doesn’t process it well. I know a lot of people smoke and it works for them. We’re all different. Thanks again. πŸ™‚

    • #80558

      “Thank you for the support @karma.”
      πŸ™‚

      “I feel you there sista
      I use to get paranoid.
      Today I still get paranoid.
      When I do I sit with my handgun.
      And play the theme to Duke Nukem.
      I got over paranoia.
      By taking little tiny puffs.
      Got used to it like I knew I would.
      All it took was a little patience.
      All people can tolerate it.
      Which is why it’s so awesome.
      Well I wish you the best.
      Feeling numb ain’t a bad thing.
      One of my heroes feels numb.
      Spock from the Enterprise.
      The USS Enterprise.”
      πŸ™‚
      @dethbyplater

    • #81584
      itsplaster
      Participant

      Much is the same on the Prozac front even after adjustment. I drift between totally giving a fuck and not really caring if the world explodes. I’ve made a few very Plaster comments lately but then lose interest in defending them or arguing and forget about them. Numbness with moments of spark and then fizzle. And the beat goes on …

    • #81857
      LovelyLemur
      Participant

      Aw I’m truly sorry you feel that way. I’ve noticed you haven’t been posting as much lately. I completely understand how you feel. I’ve tried lexapro which I’ve had the most success with but did still feel numb. Which I didn’t mind too much but I wasn’t getting anything done during the day and since I was on the medication I of course didn’t care. I notice when I’m slipping if I’m not logging into the site and responding and etc. Maybe with summer right around the corner that will help.

      • #81908
        itsplaster
        Participant

        Thanks so much, Lemur! I’m glad you’ve tried a cousin to Prozac – Lexapro – as I wondered about it as well. I do think summer will help. And next time i speak with my doc, I’m going to stand up for myself and be taken seriously. I’m paying him so he’s going to listen, dammit. lol πŸ™‚

    • #81954
      itsplaster
      Participant

      I am now on Day 3 of skipping Prozac. I went from 40mg/daily to 20mg/daily a week or so ago against doctor wishes. I have completely left it off for 3 days as of now. I was expecting a possible bad withdrawal; however I replaced it with Wellbutrin – a non-SSRI and less potent antidepressant. I did borrow these from a friend but I don’t think it’s dangerous. I took this drug once several years ago for adult ADHD and had no issues.

      Wellbutrin simply helps produce dopamine (happy chemical) but does not effect serotonin (the SUPER happy chemical) level as Prozac does. The “softer” antidepressant is just cushioning for the possible fall from Prozac to nothing. I researched these things and they may seem dangerous. But I still think getting rid of prozac was smart.

      I feel like ME. I am pretty edgy and have anxiety but it’s tolerable. I plan to taper off the Wellbutrin within 3 weeks. 1 week of one daily/ then 1 week of 1 every other day and finally every third day. At that point, I do not plan on going on more antidepressants. They have made me worse. I will look into meditation, more sunlight/UVA light, diet changes and other NATURAL dopamine boosters.

      The choice to take these capsules was a mistake. I did write my Doc a letter explaining what I’m doing and I did add that his theory that the drug did not affect me was dangerous and unprofessional and insulting.
      Thank you everyone for all the input!

    • #81991

      “Hang in there sis.
      I wish you the best.
      And you will be alright.
      I do recommend sunlight.
      It’s natural vitamin D12.”
      πŸ™‚

      • #82007
        itsplaster
        Participant

        Thank you! You’re the best!

    • #82101
      itsplaster
      Participant

      Off the fuckin Prozac: You missed me

      ‘Cause we need a little controversy
      ‘Cause it feels so empty without me -MM

      Expect hell to be raised πŸ˜‰

    • #83231
      PIGgray
      Participant

      Sadly death, I know exactly how it goes with mood swings associated with anxiety and depression. Just remember, there are many of us trussing thru the so called mud on a daily basis and you are not alone. HMU on a private mssg if you need to talk privately and keep it that way. Ive got an open ear for you.

    • #83697
      haydolf_hittler
      Participant

      just wait until 5G rolls out then EVERYBODY will start to feel their heads getting fucked with. anxiety for everyone on tap ! research agenda 21 and the deliberate dumbing down/attacking emotions of the general public. we are all under attack and suffering mentally.

      • #83700
        itsplaster
        Participant

        Meditation is a great skill. Since the Prozac mess, I’ve been doing meditation. And I’ve been busy. My leg is healed. Things are better. I don’t come here as much at all. I always plan on it but then something comes up. It’s good to be busy though. Makes you mentally stronger. Besides, negativity on a daily basis was probably not doing me any favors. I don’t mean the site content. I mean arguing with people. I still have something to say sometimes but I don’t need too much of that. @haydolf_hittler

    • #83703
      Long Haired Dude
      Participant

      I’m a 21 year old male and I’m short (5′ 2Β½”). I have body dysmorphic disorder. I weight 125 pounds, but when I look in a mirror, I see a whale. I’m afraid to go outside, but I do anyway to go to college and work part time. I have a girlfriend who is 5″0′ so there’s no problem with the height. We’ve been dating since 13, but she knows I’m depressed and struggling with my height. Every male who is short will go through this for the rest of their life. I have been told my multiple women I am so hot. Even women who are 5′ taller than me still stop me in the middle of the street and compliment me. (I also believe it has to do with my long gorgeous hair which makes my face even better) I seen a therapist when I was 15-18 years old then I stopped going because it wasn’t helping.

      Anyway onto medication that has to do with this. I got into a major car accident and broke my back and now I have back pain for the rest of my life. I’m taking 5 MG Percocet 3 times a day (obviously I’m addicted by now. This accident happened when I was 17). I take it to make myself numb so when I go outside I don’t care what people think or if people stare at me. I can’t count the times that people have mistaken me for a woman behind due to my long hair and try to hit on me (lol), but when I turn around and say “What?” with my deep voice and mustache and hair under my chin, they say “Oh, I’m sorry”. Obviously I take Percocet for my pain, but a lot of times before I have to go to class or work, I’ll pop two pills so I feel numb and can get through the day without anxiety. I know it’s not exactly like your situation, but I’m just stating that Percocet makes me numb. Hell, if I took 10 pills I wouldn’t care if I got made fun of or pushed around. I know I have to go to NA meetings after I ween myself off of Percocet, but Percocet is the thing I need in order to survive.

      I am so happy you are off the Prozac and I am proud of you. I hope you do well. Sorry if this was a lot to read, but I like getting things off my chest (not to a therapist though)

    • #83716
      haydolf_hittler
      Participant

      @Dethbyplaster i have actually noticed you are not as fiery as you were so maybe those meds really have made an impact on you as long as you are feeling better then they must be worth popping down your neck ? i usually dont agree with big pharma but ahh well sometimes they must have some benefit. and you know where i am if you ever need to talk more.

    • #80433
      itsplaster
      Participant

      @wolf8619 Logan (I went to that movie this afternoon “Logan”) Anyway, thanks for the comment. My childhood and such was usually good and I’m okay aside from getting totally frustrated with life sometimes. I think I just have SAD (Seasonal Affective Disorder) – when there’s not enough sun, I get depressed. I live at a high altitude where it’s colder and we get more snow, etc. I just really need sun and green! But I like the wine suggestion and Î do have a jacuzzi tub I never use – maybe I’ll take a soak tomorrow when I get home. Thanks again.

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