Filipino Thief Impaled His Gonads Trying to Jump a Gate

Filipino Thief Impaled His Gonads Trying to Jump a Gate

I don’t speak Filipino so I couldn’t tell you whether it’s his gonads the little thief managed to impale on the gate, but he looks to be in a lot of pain so I wouldn’t be surprised if some part of his junk took a tear.

There’s so much to LOL at in this video, I don’t know where to start. The incompetence of the Filipino police is notorious worldwide. The fact that they show up but have no fucking clue what to do is not surprising, but when one of the cops puts his radio before the thief’s mouth for whatever reason, while the bugger is still impaled on top of the gate, barely managing to keep himself from falling and tearing his junk completely cause nobody’s helping, that’s when it gets super weird. LOL @ the Philippines.

UPDATE

Best Gore member ryankun translated the the video for us.

Language spoken in the video is Ilonggo from Bacolod – same city in which a gay doctor was killed by teens.

Anchor: “A burglar was impaled after escaping from the house of his victim. Here’s the report..”

*message at bottom: burglar, impaled on a gate*

Reporter: “He’s not an actor, nor a queen from a fiesta, but the subject of cellphones with cameras. A burglar who was robbing the residences for a long time became an overnight star. He is 40 years old, his name is Rommel Avelo, a resident of zone 4 Kalumpang Molo. Even though he is a very slick thief, he got impaled on a very sharp gate.”

*video shows the burglar screaming in pain*

Reporter: “The owner of the house where the thief was impaled is Segundo Gamba.”

Witness: “We are robbed many times. Last time he got our cellphones.”

Interviewer: “At what time did you discover him?”

Witness: “It was around 4:45am. We heard someone screaming in pain so I opened the window and saw him on the top of the gate, impaled.”

Reporter: “It was already 4:45 am when we arrived at the scene. He’s been impaled for over 1 hour, struggling to support himself when asked what he was doing there…”

*video shows thief getting interviewed. A very hilarious scene*

Interviewer: “what were you doing there?”

Thief:” ouch.. ouch.. I was just looking for something.. ouch ouch..”

Interviewer: “What were you looking for?”

Reporter: Police found jewelries and cash inside his pocket. Police sawed the gate’s spike off and the tired thief was taken to the hospital to have the remaining metal removed from his thigh. This is blah blah reporting…

Props to LucyInTheSky740 for the video and ryankun for the translation:

Author: Vincit Omnia Veritas

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86 thoughts on “Filipino Thief Impaled His Gonads Trying to Jump a Gate”

    1. i agree wid you… actually he was not ipale at his jonson, but was pierce through his thighs and was impaled more 5 hours… he was robbing the house at early morning hours then his foot slip trying to get away when a home owner notice someone was inside their house. and the person with the radio isn’t a police but a reporter..

      1. He was impale at his upper leg. It happen before 5:00a.m. the house owner also said that the thief took her phone at the table. At the voice in the news said he was impale more than 1 hour. The reporter who was hold the radio asking the thief “what is your purpose” The police found a small plastic of jewellery on his pocket & money. Language is Bisaya Language.

      2. I am very sorry Sir… I send it as reply to you. I supposed to write it on a comment. I am a viewer of bestgore a years ago but i only register today and it’s my first comment i post but i didn’t noticed the Post Comment at the bottom… Sorry & God Day…

      3. If I had been robbed that many times by the same fucker & found him impaled on my fence, I’d probably take my time calling the police & stand there recording him on my phone camera, too. Fuck the guy, he should consider himself lucky he didn’t bump into me in the dark, or he’d be going to the morgue instead of the hospital.

      1. Hahahaha!

        You want a collection of the little critters Hawk.

        An entire pack of the little bastards… Impaled on your wrought Iron gothic barricades… All howling a chorus of pain.

        Truly Lovecraftian.

  1. fucking retards alert!!! WTF dont they have step ladders in that shithole country? and what the fuck was that idiot doing putting a two way up to his mouth FUCK to call his mommy?

    1. The guy holding the radio is a reporter, he’s asking why the hook got him and what’s his motive for stealing inside the house. The language they’re using is “Visaya” not Tagalog, tagalog is the main language used by Filipinos. And please don’t call them retards 🙂 if this happen in Indonesia or any countries from middle east he might have burned alive or beaten to death 🙂

    2. who the hell would bring a ladder if you would steal something inside a house??? it would be much obvious that your “KAWATAN” if you bring a ladder and roam around at night especially that your not familliar with the neighborhood… bring a ladder it an idiot thing to do, right?

  2. I saw something similar, a video where a girl fell out of her dorm room window and landed on a gate upside down, the posts had gone through her ass cheeks, and they couldn’t just remove her from the posts, they had to cut through them with a saw used by the fire dept. She hung upside down by her ass for hours, as the posts were heating up. I have to laugh at this pathetic fool though. He kinda deserved everything he got. I actually hope that one of those posts impaled his asshole too. 🙂

    1. thats because the worst thing you can do is pull him/her off them,….i always remember my mum telling me that when i was kid…..i was also told a story when doing first aid classes of a little boy who was running with a pen….he fell and the pen went into his chest……without thinking his mother just yanked it out and the little boy bled to death…..paramedics later told his mother if she had left the pen lodged in his chest they would have been able to safely remove it in hospital

      1. Yes I’ve watched that kind of thing on television as well, knives through the skull etc, my understanding is that you aren’t supposed to remove these rods or anything for that matter and seek medical attention instead.

    1. Ever seen those medievil torture horses? Pretty much just an upside down V that they’d have the condemed sit on and they’d tie weights and yank on em for hours until they split up the middle or died beforehand.

  3. Was that his bollocks or was up his bum? Either way it seems he got what he deserved, all said and done he was very lucky that he received such good treatment, in many countries in the world he would have been attacked by the crowd. But that would be a whole other post.

  4. Okay so im from the philippines, but havent been there since i was 7 I tried to understand it but its the type of language from the south, im from the north so it i couldnt understand much, and philippines isnt really a third world country, its a develping country.. but i have to agree some filipinos from the south of philippines are just retarded.. and yea if i saw him i would fucking push him of the thing and let his dick be pulled out! karmas a bitch!

    1. “developing countries” is a refined term of “undeveloped countries”, which refers to all the other nations besides “developed countries”. Even Somalia is categorized as a developing country lol so that’s not what you gotta say when you want to back up the claim that your nation is not a part of third world.

  5. …this fucking hell of a thief deserves all the pain and agony he had experienced…..the policeman should have just pulled him down from the fence without regard!!!!!!….and his “junk” could have been impaled,left hanging on the fence…good display for early X’mas…hehehe…(Filipino X’mas decor…..)

  6. Laughed my ass off watching this a second time with audio.
    Law lecture mode on: this is what the german criminal law dogmatics called the ‘natural punishment’. According to that doctrine, when a felon ended up suffering a ‘karmic punishment style’ damage as a result of his crime that could be considered about as, or more grievous that the sentence that would eventually befall on him, the first instance judge should acquit the offender.
    When working in B.R criminal justice, Tulio attempted to apply this when writing an oppinion in a case where an armed robber crashed and lost his two legs, etc after a police chase, but his badass judge boss returned the oppinion corrected with a big, manuscript ‘INDICT’ sign. 😀
    Just as the SOBs would have wanted it. 😛

  7. Poor bastard. All he was trying to do was put food on the table for his wife and eight kids. Even thieves have to earn a living but now he’s been had and will never work this side of town again. Poor bastard.

    1. I disagree with you, sorry… We all work hard to earn money to provide food for our family with our own sweat and blood and other people will just take it??? thats no way to feed your family… He deserve wat happened to him…

  8. I’ve always thought it would be fun to find some piece of shit in trouble like this, I think I’d start by throwing darts at him, shoot him with cracking roman candles, MAN I could go on forever 8D

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