Earlier today an extraordinary thing happened. I took a walk to a grocery store like I do every day and saw a young Caucasian female driving a car in Edmonton and not texting. I don’t remember seeing that in at least 10 years that I’ve paid attention. It seemed a bit weird that she would notice a pedestrian as she was pulling out of a driveway cause they’re normally all too engaged texting to feel bothered by pedestrians.
Speaking of Edmonton – I got an email from a Best Gore member who’s a fellow Edmontonian. He sent me pictures of another Edmontonian who calls himself Rocketboy (he longboards). In early 2011, Rocketboy had a drinking experience go wrong in downtown Edmonton and would like his pictures to serve as a reminded to everyone “too cool” for mittens, that a misfortune like that could easily happen to them too. This is neither the first time for pics from Edmonton on Best Gore, nor it is the first time for pics of frostbites.
After drinking 8oz of vodka and 7 beers in about 30 minutes, the alcohol got the better of Rocketboy. He ended up passed out, face-down, in a snowbank Downtown Edmonton. It was -35 Degree Celsius outside. A passing tow-truck driver found him, after he was laying there for about 30 minutes. Doctors said if he was found 10 minutes later, he would have died.
Rocketboy sustained 3rd degree frostbite on his hands, 2nd degree frostbite on his ears, nerve damage, internal nerve damage due to the tibial pin in his right leg from breaking it 6 months prior, and an appreciation for wearing mittens. He didn’t lose any of his limbs, and healed surprisingly well, aside from the nerve damage. Thanks to some physiotherapy, he still has much use of his hands.
It’s hard to explain what winters on the prairies are like to anyone who’s never experienced them. I always laugh when Ontario ends up all paralyzed after getting its first inch of snow cause it makes the national news. Yet by that time Edmonton has been under 2 meters of snow for 3 months with blizzards and cold snaps they’ve never even heard of.
Alberta has very strong economy so we get lots of people coming from all over the place. Poor fuckers have no idea what they’re getting themselves into. It really doesn’t matter where you come from, when Alberta winter strikes, you’ll swear you’ve never been this cold. But that’s not all Alberta is known for. We also have snobby, gold digging bitches with almost universally ugly feet and hissing speech impediment driving around while texting on their cell phones despite the distracted driving law in effect.
Props to Best Gore member whatsyourbestgore for the pics and story: