Black Man Bloated, Sitting On Couch in New York City

Black Man Bloated, Sitting On Couch in New York City

In New York, the greatest city in the world, a black man is bloated while sitting on couch. Guess he should have taken a bit out of an apple.

Props to Best Gore member @carnage-2 the video:

Zero-Decibels ®

203 thoughts on “Black Man Bloated, Sitting On Couch in New York City”

        1. Pathologists don’t usually get bodies in this advanced state of decomposition, and when they arrive like this the gases which contain methane can actually ignite, so to minimise that happening they’ll make a small puncture wound and burn off the gas in a controlled manner much like they do in say, an oil refinery.

          1. Kinda like guys lighting farts.
            No one would move him before the burn.
            Could explode the van.

          2. Why would you waste methane by just burning it without profit? Bottle it and sell as home cooking gas. That’s a good idea! Just send me all bloaters and I will make my own methane bottling plant. I’m a proud anarcho-capitalist!

          3. @bloodybreakfast
            It would be more cost effective if you moved your operations next to the morgue. You might not even need to bottle it. Just have a pipeline connected to a gas-fired electricity generator and sell the electricity to the city at heavily inflated (<see what I did there? ) prices.

          1. Why did the cabin boys avoid svarg when he was a pirate?
            Because he kept asking them to – “Blow me down (there)”, and “Shiver me timber (pretty please)”.

        1. His navel is gonna pop, it’s tearing
          Yeah, HAZMAT suits

          Besides, he won’t fit through the door as mentioned by an associate,
          he still needs that butt plug pulled too.

          Then they can use it to make Gyros down the street.
          Maybe use some of those perfectly aged slabs for BBQ

      1. SvargeHole, 26mm,

        calm the fuck down and keep your mother fucking pants down, fucknuts.

        Would you fucking use both hands to pull it open fucknuts?

        Lazy cunt

        That’s it babe, just a little more, uh, uh, uh, MORE you cunt, uh uh uh

        Hey,

        Like the place you have here, juvenile, how much did you say does mom give you in allowance?

        Fucknuts

          1. Bacteria is present in our bloodstream but is kept in check by the immune system, until we die and slowly there are microscopic breakdown of cells by enzymes (lysis) and other biochemical factors. This breakdown and leakage presents a suitable environment for bacterial and other microbes to grow, further degrading surrounding tissues. The process of putrefaction follows, where there are macroscopic changes, such as skin discolouration and the bloating that we see.

            @hopingfornemesis

          2. That’s the general gist of things mate, the environment, health, age, clothed or not, etc etc..all affect the processes ~ but that’s basically the flow of things. The best part is we all have that to look forward to in the future. The bright side of this darkness is that there are about 10 x more bacterial cells inside and outside of us in a symbiotic relationship and we couldn’t be who we are without them…so do we really die if they grow and carry on after the human cells give up the ghost?

          1. There’s 300lbs of dark humor oozing all over that couch. I bet you won’t pick that up.
            Don’t pay any attention to @honkeykong
            He’s been a bit grumpy since catching the syphilis while cleaning gerbil tubes on the gay cruise ship.

          1. No apologies needed….it’s everyones conversation…it just immediately popped in my head..I still laugh when I read it.

            You have never seen that movie?! One of my favorites. I even read your comment in his voice..hahaha..I’ve seen it so many times I just about know all the lines. Another movie by those guys, Raising Arizona, is always good for a few laughs. John Goodman is in it too, he’s in a few of their movies.

          1. That sounds very rude Illegal. lol
            I’d like to interject with my own gesticulations, however, my capacity for social intercourse has been seriously hampered my inability to masticate my food for the sole reason that I live in a Cul De Sac.

          2. My robe is covered in coffee stains. Every morning I make a cup of coffee, grab my tablet, and laugh…what a great way to start the day…but now I’m off to work, not very funny. It’s the first holiday of summer, three day weekend, so town will be filled with tourons…ugh….I want to run ’em over, most of them are Massholes.
            Right @carnage-2?

            @doc-undy

          3. You have my sincere commiserations, work is the curse of the Goraholic …but somebody has to pay the taxes. I did it for long enough. Dressing gowns have been known to have worse stains, so at least you’re ahead of the race there. I get the feeling that not many people are here for the gore anymore… the comments section is much more entertaining than the pics of humans running around being total pricks to other humans.

            Can relate to the tourist issue, where I live attracts hoards of Thai tourists and for 3 months of the year, the mountain roads are packed with minivans full of them…might be able to contribute some raw exclusive content next season. We can compete for the most mashed up ‘touron’ :o)

          1. Are we still talking about coffee or are we talking about your vagina? Do I bring donuts or unleash the danhammer?

  1. Zeppelin Ball-Sack from the powerful decomposition gas inflation. If he’d had a pierced ball-bag he would have been a regular nutty-boy. Instead it looks like the Hindenberg nudging into the mooring control tower at Lakehurst, New Jersey.

    https://youtu.be/CgWHbpMVQ1U?t=2m22s

    For me the question is…

    1. That gas is coming out… but when?

    Will it be…

    a) When they first try to move Mr Sticky to a stretcher to take him out the apartment? You know, a little movement and the fluids and gases settle, move, find an exit and… big stinky, farty noise and hilarious deflating scrotum (like a deflating party balloon). A room/ apartment-clearer.

    b) When at the morgue the Coroner, Dr Quincy, lances the fucker with a BIG scalpel and there is a hissing pop and splash and the new assistant gets fucking showered with decomposed jizz, bollock jam and testicle grease and all the regular autopsy staff piss themselves laughing at the newbie.

    c) None of the above.

    Answers on a wet-wipe please.

    1. It’s NYC. There’s at least 10 rats under the couch. I’m sure one of them will scamper up and puncture the high tension scrote before anyone touches him.
      Isn’t that how the Black Plague started?

      1. Ha! that bitch! Are you serious??
        The only things I get are; halitosis , dirty looks, and beer farts, while the only things she’ll suck on are the paper boy and a can of Schlitz.

    1. Ya know Dil, you are one patient dude.
      BTW, once the skank set in you didn’t miss anything.

      Nothing personal against yer wife, but you wash yer hands, and guys wash their package all the time, but a woman never washes her twat by hand, it never fucking happens.

      After all these years, I figure, if they won’t touch it, neither will I.

      So sick of the lady skank.

      Count yersef lucky.

  2. The pressure produced by methane from his rotting fecal-filled guts forced gas through his inguinal tubes and inflated his nut sack.

    Arms don’t usually inflate until long after, he was obviously a fat fucker never missed a meal.

    20 or more pounds of chicken, burgers, french fries and pizza in a man-dumpster.

    Lucky he didn’t inflate the couch too.

    They wonder why apartments spontaneously explode when someone makes a spark.

  3. check OP picture…. (“damn.. he got some giant balls…”)

    check video thumbnail… (” dat guy is definitly in the mood to suck them…”)

    walk away for not watching gay black video lol

  4. Show respect for our dearly departed.
    How about his family. Those you loved him. Wife, girlfriend, children, parents.?
    Rest in peace sir. Had i been your friend and found you in time, i gladly would have afforded you CPR & Mouth to Mouth rescue breathing. Sadly it can never be.

    1. … Well, seein that he died all alone and the time it takes for a body to become bloated… I’d say no one gave a shit about him to begin with.. Anyways, no need to be such a bleedin heart about it… How many of us get to die on a plush leather couch..?

      1. We all need to care about the loss of one of our black brothers. In today’s society, police thugs murder unarmed black women & men on a daily basis. A defenseless grandmother of color was just murdered in Texas this week.

        I would hope all reasonable readers will stand with me that Black Lives Matter.

    2. Yes, CPR is off the table now but the good news is that you can give the coroner $100 to let you go in and strangle it with your panties. Take it or leave it.

  5. Hmm, here we go, I’m bored. Let’s write a rap(e) (rape of the word music, for it is not), anyway
    Shiiit,
    Shiiit, fool
    Here we go muthafuckas
    I’m just anotha nigga in N.Y.C,
    Livin my life on dat KFC,
    It ain’t easy being a black brutha,
    When you can’t tell da difference between a whale and ya mutha …

    I lived a good life though it’s been tuff,
    Oh da wamen dat I raped been a little rough,
    Black lives matta, black lives matta,
    Serve my kang ass with a silva platta.

    The po-lice are huntin us round the clock,
    Dem crackas only hatin cause we have bigga cocks,
    Now I’m bloatin away a laughin stock,
    So Hear me crackas and witness my cock.

    When can I expect a platinum?

    1. Now I too big ’round fo yo arms too hug
      So git down here mutha fucka and pull my butt plug
      Pull it out cracka an feel the heat
      I’ll blow yo cracka ass tru the winda to the street

  6. This gentleman in Apartment #50 had a tasteful apartment. Would have certainly wished i could have enjoyed his company maybe as a roommate to save on rent, maybe share a bottle of intoxicating spirits as we shared the sofa and maybe watched some cultural show on the television. It is a crying shame it can never be.

    Rest in Peace my friend. It would have been special.

    1. .. Oh yeah?… So you would’ve been given him backrubs, after those those long days at work?… Cuddled up with him on those cold winter nights?.. Scrubbed his back for him in the shower?… Took a walk in Central Park holdin hands?… Yes, I’m sure you guys would’ve made an epically gay couple, even for NY standards… But alas, you’ll have to wait your turn after Danaconda…

          1. The dead guy used to have such an effervescent personality. They say that Coke™ adds life, however, in his case the flatulence seems to have gotten the better of him.

  7. The dearly departed was without a doubt a gentlemen of color with more class than any of the hateful white trash that is on this site. I can proudly say black is beautiful and i would have been honored to share all life has to offer with this man. Maybe you will not like it, but i would have loved to double date with him as we came to your front door and took your brother or sister out on a date where they could experience all black men have to offer.

      1. .. Hey man, I’m not “hateful”… Ya got me with the white trash thing though, since I don’t have a college degree and such… “Experience all black men have to offer”?…. Assuming, of course, that this experience isn’t involving any type of CREDIT…The Black mans true arch nemesis huh KK?… No, no I’m just fukn witcha bro…

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